if you are truly in love with your boyfriend and he thnks you are his soulmate you should not hurt him and pull out the “its not you its me” line, i mean seriously if you love them enough you will stay with them. to be honest though if you think the other person is you soulmate you should not be miserable with your current boyfriend if he loves you he will understand and let you go peacefully, he will grieve and find someone knew. so yes i think you should always go for true love not pity love.

_Ash

You have whatever right you are willing to fight for. More importantly than the right is the correlation. I don’t think those two things can actually work together. I don’t think I could feel happy about hurting anyone. It’s a contridiction in terms for me.

You have the RIGHT to CHOOSE how you will act at any given time... PERIOD. You should also be aware that your choices DO not come without repercussions or effects however. No one... is an owner of another. The problem with your query is the erroneous interpretations of love and or soul mates. One can never leave someone they love or a soul mate (because there are no conditions upon either of these even via the illusory separation of death.

A lot of people may look at the term "soul mate" and consider it to be some ideal person who will make one's life perfect, whole and complete, as if by waving a magic wand. Yet, a "soul mate" is a person who helps the individual to grow spiritually so that he can bring out the wholeness that is already within each person.

The "soul mate" term also implies that one has shared a lifetime or more with another before, that they already know each other on a deeper level. In that respect, one has many soulmates. Ultimately, though, from a spiritual perspective where all is One and all are connected - everyone is everyone else's soul mate.

The spiritual growth and sharing doesn't involve only the growth of two individuals but the sharing of a common goal which contributes to the well being of others that neither could accomplish alone but as a contribution for the greater good of all which they can only perform together.

The relationships between soulmates are not always easy and rosy - as a matter of fact, most of the time they have to overcome a lot of challenges and a lot of individual differences and it may take a lot of work. What keeps them together, more than anything else, is this commitment to the higher purpose that is bigger than they are, an undeniable inner knowingness that they are meant to do something together. What many feel is a soul mate connection is merely the recognition of a soul that they have been close to in the past/future.

Most people's definition of love is actually affection rather. And to that... most people's affections are in fact CONDITIONAL and that is why they can remove their affection and place it elsewhere... where as LOVE would remain a CONSTANT no matter. The very closest thing that I can even contemplate coming near to legitimate love is the love of a mother for her children but even that has its limits where as the legitimate power of love has NONE.

You have a right to defend yourself, and to be yourself and do what is right for your life. You do not have a right to hurt others on purpose to make yourself happy. Remember the Bibical quote, what you sow you shall reap and the principle of Karma, everytime you hurt someone it will return as a hurt to you. There are ways to do what you must in the least hurtful manner possible. And there are those times you must take control and defend yourself from those who are hurting you.

In the situation you described it is morally proper for one to hurt someone else for their own pleasure. This is because they are not technically hurting someone for their own pleasure, but rather pursuing their own pleasure and the pain of someone else is a side-effect of that pursuit. If this pain can be avoided by taking some other course of action then it should, without a doubt, be avoided. Again.. in the situation you described it is alright because one person may not feel as if they want to spend their life with the other, and they feel that they would be happier somewhere else – and pain should be expected from a relationship anyway. A TOTALLY pain-free relationship is.. somewhat inhuman (an example of this sort of relationship could be the relationship between man and God.. but that is a whole other topic).

I feel you do, as you shall never know. In throwing caution to the wind, you learn more of yourself and hurt alot of people on the way. But in saying that, you are too going to be hurt more than you would want. It is a catch 22 situation and in the end all are winners, if love was the key to start with, if not then all are losers.

yes. Even if this other person isn’t your “soulmate”, it is obvious that you’re not all that in love with your partner and/or mature enough to keep yourself in check. It would be wrong to STAY with your partner under those circumstances.

The human dinamics say we should care for others. But it depends on the situation. If there is no hope of winning in a situation then you can’t help but make a choice.

Here’s a small example, a couple gets married. They have a pair of kids and they constantly fight. During the marriage dad develope’s a gambling problem and leaves mom at home with kids and expenses. When dad does come home they fight and mom takes her angst out on the kids.

I guess when the wellfare of others depends on you.

If everyone hurt others to be happy then no one would be happy… we’d all be hurt. Which is a simple way of saying that hurting someone else for your own ends neglects their ends, and if everyone neglected each others ends none of us would be able to pursue our own ends. If we were unable to pursue our own ends moral choice would be denied us… and we couldn’t make the decision to use other people or not…

Stay, be loyal, be miserable, be unbearable … then he will leave you … the eventual soul mate will be gone and you’ll be miserable too

You can't be happy if you've hurt someone on purpose in the process. That's just how the human mind works.

Would you like someone to hurt you just for their happiness?

I dont think that you have to hurt someone to be happy. Though it depends on the circumstances. Its a touchy subject

If you go around in life and always worry about making everybody else happy, what happens to you? You dont have time to do the things that make you happy anymore. Trust me, I've done it for the past 5 years. It's your life and at the end of the day would you rather sit down crying knowing you made someone happy, or sit down... get a big ol grin on your face and say "Damn I feel good."

Pretty obvious that you can't just hurt or kill someone to make yourself happy. Though, in some cases I do have to admit I'd love to be allowed to kill. I'd go kill George Bush. Yes. And well, everybody hurts everybody else anyway. I don't think we should, but we still do. Too bad. And as for the leaving your partner thing... I think that it's no one's business really and that this person should do whatever they want. And if they regret it, too bad for them. If the relationship with the other person works, good for them. It's simple. I don't know what there is to debate about here. Hmmm...

"The right" is a bad choice of word. You have the choice to hurt others, yes. But why do you think the hurt feelings that your present partner will experience is your fault? It is your fault if you lied by telling them that your relationship was forever KNOWING that it was not just to hang on so you could get what you wanted from him or her.

As far as being happy, you will eventually learn that your only soulmate is YOURSELF. Almost no one can achieve this in their lifetime. The day you can stand alone and depend on no one for your happiness is the day you actually achieve happiness. Be your own soulmate-- that is the only true soulmate. That is a long way off, however. In the mean time, seek many partners and experience many, many relationships. You will come to the conclusion I bring to you if you are courageous enough to have sex with 100 women or love 100 men (depending on your gender).

if there are certain circumstances, like if the other option was to be utterly miserable for the rest of, well for a long time, then it may be ok. if its just for a whim, or something, then no, its probably not ok. if the one you thought was your soulmate, then realized they weren't, whats going to be different with the new person?

you cant just hurt someone for just you make you happy. but i dont think it will accually make you happy, it will bring you down even lower, because in the end your concience will get to you. you will wonder if you did the right thing or not. so you wont be happy. you may be happy for awille but as i said. another thing, why would you want to hurt someone just to make you happy, its not right.