Most people who choose to have sex before they are married end up pregnant and alone. So should sex wait till after marrige?
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‘I Do’ Believe it doesn’t Matter15% Voted for by magicpie325, Weydon, CrazyRebel, a sweetheart lost, Malachi Nightbreeze.
I think sex before marriage is perfectly fine. I view sex as being an extension of communication, and that it doesn't have to happen between two people in love or married in order to make it “okay.”
Many believe sex to be sacred, or even holy, and I'm not trying to denounce those values by any means; I'm just stating that sometimes people can have casual sex, where it doesn't have to be something deeply emotional.
Sex doesn't always have to be a matter of love. Occasions can arise where two friends want to have sex because they care about each other and it feels good — to them it’s just another expression of their friendship. There might be two people who come to meet for the first time, are attracted to one another, and want to fulfill some sexual desires with a one-night stand — and they do — and they’re okay with it because that’s what they wanted.
Sex isn’t morally wrong if you aren’t married, or if you aren’t a couple, or even if you aren’t in love; sex is only morally wrong when those involved don’t agree with the situation at hand.
Not only do I think that sex before marriage is perfectly fine, I think it’s almost necessary. I’m not advising that everyone go out and start sleeping around with as many people as humanly possible, but at least get some experience in with the person you plan on marrying. I think abstinence until marriage is the first big step to a sexually unhealthy relationship. While physicality is not the only thing that makes up a relationship, adding the "sex factor" in can drastically change how a relationship functions... Sometimes for the better, sometimes for the worse. Either way, it's best to be prepared and have that experience with your partner BEFORE you make a life-long commitment.
My advice to all is: Be decisive, be safe, know what you want, and have fun.
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yes, it's better to wait12% Voted for by NeferMaatNetjer, kissjess, Elscripto, beauty-of-neptune.
I'm going to make a total hypocrite out of myself and tell the truth. I screwed around a lot before I got married and I now wish I had'nt. I wish I had waited until after marriage. sex is so much better within a lifelong partnership, I can't begin to describe it. before, it was stressful. there was always the worry "will she get pregnant?" "will I get VD?" "what will she let me do?" "what will she not let me do?" but now, its like night and day. i dont worry about getting her pregnant, because we want children. i don't worry about VD because I know she's clean, and my wife is into all the same kinky things I like, so I dont have to worry about what she will let me do. being married is the most liberating experience yet!
So dont follow my example, I was a fool. take my advice, and wait til you're married. you'll be glad you did
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It's too precious to just throw away9% Voted for by praise-reborn, beauty-of-neptune, soldier4christ.
As Nefer's wife I must agree: Don't follow his example :-P
I was a virgin myself when we were married and I can attest that I'm glad I waited. Being the Jesus freak that I am I will mention the spiritual side of it. God's plans for a relationship and our actions accordingly. But it's not just that. With problems like AIDS, tons of other STD's,pregnancy,fly by night relationships, regrets and the like....abstinance is the more appealing choice. Besides, these days when 1 in every 3 people have some form of sexually transmitted disease we all must be careful.
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Before marrige, after marrige, your choice9% Voted for by -TheLoneWolf-, Weydon, dianagirl18.
I personally see nothing wrong with sex before marrige. I am certanly not going to wait till after marrige, if I get married at all. I have nothing against people who chose to wait, but I don't fully understand their reasoning.
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Good to know6% Voted for by YesterdaysFeelings, Weydon.
I believe sex before marriage can really have its benefits. I don't think someone should go out and whore themseves around for "experience." You can get plenty of experience with one person even. However, I do think having no experience and then getting married can be disasterous. I can think of almost nothing as awkward as two virgins trying to have sex with each other and neither of them having any clue what to do. Waiting till marriage can be very inhibiting. I had a good friend who was going to marry "the one" (or so he thought) and she was a virgin. While they were engaged, they ended up having sex a few times. As the wedding date grew closer, she decided she didn't want to be with one person her whole life and wanted to see if there was somethign she was missing by choosing him. They broke it off and never talked again. I also had another friend whose aunt was dating a man for 5 years. They had never had sex and were planning on keeping it that way until after marriage. For some reason, they decided to sleep together and it was awful, awkward and crippling to tehir relationship. They had absolutely no sexual chemistry together whatsoever. They broke off the relationship and remained on good terms because it was just mutually displeasing. I guess it's all up to the person, but I definitely see where it has its benefits.
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That's great6% Voted for by BrandonHerron270, Exo.
I think it's great that you are married and regret past sexual encounters. I don't blame you. But I don't think premarrital sex is necessarily wrong. I think promiscuous sex is wrong, because whenever you have sex with someone, your soul searches for theirs and they become one. It says this twice in the Bible. In Genesis and Jesus talks about it in the new testament. Being legally married means having a peice of paper. Marriage in essence, is a covenant of undying love between two people. You don't need paper to prove that. If you truly know in your heart that it is the person you are meant to be with, then it isn't wrong. It still isn't smart, because you could be wrong about them being "the one," but sometimes there is no doubt. I think you should wait until you know you are out of the puppy love stage, however.
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NO!6% Voted for by krautydennis, Exo.
I think that of course sex isn't the most important thing in a relationship. But it is not unimportant. So what would you say if you wait until mariege and than the sex is bad?
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-6% Voted for by Axelle Black, Weydon.
"Most people who choose to have sex before they are married end up pregnant and alone."
Hmm, where do you get your information? I'd really love to see some statistics on that.
And well to answer your question, I think that we should just have the choice. I personally wouldn't want to wait until after marriage because I would like to gain some experience. And anyway, contraception exists so I'd be safe in terms of falling pregnant. Just play it safe.
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Yes...Voted for by ohbequiet.
Well having it after marrage it makes it special you saved your virginity for someone special to your heart. How great would it feel to lose it to the person you loved the most and not a mistake girlfriend in highschool.
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Yes... it's wrongVoted for by DrPeppers.
I may be 15, but I feel that I have a strong opinion towards this stuff. It's wrong. It is not meant as a method to relax and feel good, as the media leads us to believe. It creates a strong and unbreakable bond. This should be saved until the person is with the one they love and are married to.
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It is something you never forgetVoted for by HipKitten2.
To me I think pepole should wait for sex till marragie and I know that some or should I say a lot of pepole are presserued into having sex before. Mebe to fit in or st keep thier b/f or g/f. Or whatever. But Why would you want to ruin it? I mean Sex is a beautiful thing in life it is something you share with the one person you know cares about you and the one who will be there for you in sickness and in heath. That my thought on it atleast. I know that when growing up/ while growing up we might just be curious about it and what notys. Which is okay b/c well we are human. But to me if you don't wait i feel like you limit your chicoes in life. And a lot of diapointment or sandness can come from it b/c guys...and i am not refuering to all but SOME guys are player if you will and so they doing think of it as the same as some girls do. I think girls think o sex or well some girls think of it on a deeper level than some men. I would say waitting is best b/c you want it to be something you will always remeber. Not just a fling or something but some thinf truly special to both pepole.
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No!Voted for by enigma2.
Personally, I believe sex should wait until you are personally ready, your partner is ready, and you can trust them with something as precious as your virginity. Contrary to popular belief, I think this can happen when you're 15 or when you're 82. And some people make the personal choice to stay unmarried for their entire lives. Using marriage as a definite time to begin your sexual life is not really logical, because many people make the mistake of marrying young, and many people just marry the wrong person and get divorced a few years later. Putting a ring on your finger doesn't signify any sort of sexual landmark.
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YesVoted for by LostWithoutYou14.
If you wait untill after your married to have sex then you feel safe enough and you know the person well enough to give yourself to them. If you give yourself away at too young of an age then a.) you might get pregnate and b.) you might feel like you made a terrible mistake and theres no going back its so final. So yes, you should wait until after you are married to have sex.
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Marriage and SexVoted for by Exo.
Marriage and sex are two different things. I think sex has it's benefits to improve relationships (differs on the people and their outtake on sex in general-is it love or lust?)
Marriage is nothing more than a devotion to life, finance, and love. If two people could financially support each other, love each other, and have children together, that is marriage.
Lately, marriage has been "I do until I don't" in most cases, divorce is the answer in society..but isn't in the bible-where religion likes to involve intself in every aspect of life.
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My viewVoted for by CelticKisses.
No, I don't think people should wait until after marriage because if sex is rightly about love (if you don't agree with that, it's a bit of a different matter) and you marry someone because you love them and therefore want to spend the rest of your life with them (and the majority of people have that opinion, even if its not everyone) then surely if love exists before marriage so should sex? I mean, obviously it is down to personal circumstances and feelings etc and should be down to the individual couple but if love occurs before marriage then I don't think sex before marriage should have any stigma or negativity attached to it.
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Personal choiceVoted for by Kegger.
I like the idea of Sex after marriage only, and the whole idea of saving yourself to that point, but I can understand why, and how this is not fessaible to many people into today's society. If you're doing it for the right reasons only, then I guess there's nothing wrong. It boils down to the type of person you are. If you get many people pressurising others that sex before marraige is wrong, then it'll happen all the more.
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December 26, 2005
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