Okay. I'm 14 (soon to be 15), and I've been dating a 19 year old guy from the past 11 months. During our first 3 moths of dating...he was under the impression I was 17 (he was 18 at the time). My parents, were under the impression he was 16. Eventually everyone found out about each other, and for a while...things got pretty nasty. My parents, who loved him when they met, suddenly turned against him, JUST because of his age. All of a sudden, since he's 19...he's automatically a bad person. He didn't know I was 14. It's not his fault. So my parents think we've broken up. But I've been dating him in secret for the past 8 months. When adults find out about the age gap, their auntomatic response is "What does a 19 year old want with a 14 year old?" And no...it's not sex. We haven't had sex. Both of us are virgins, planning to lose our viginity on our wedding day (though it may not nessicarily be OUR wedding day). But we both have some morals and values we uphold, but because of his age, no one believes him. It's ridiculous! I am very street smart and mature for my age, and it drives me crazy how some people think and feel about my situation. So I was just wondering...where do YOU stand in the line of age, relationships, love and the law? What should be allowed, or are the laws just fine as they are?
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It Shouldn't Matter, But In The Legal System...It Does25% Voted for by The Great Escape, Mujtaba H Zaidi, ohsweetie2788.
I just think whenever people see how old a person is, they tend to generalize and judge the person....which I think is incredibly stupid and narrow-minded. NOT EVERY ONE'S A BAD PERSON!!!
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-25% Voted for by Axelle Black, looking4realtruth, birdlover06.
I think age shouldn't matter, usually. However, I also believe that when you're a teenager (or younger even) you're not stable enough nor are you fully conscious of what's going on around you and with yourself. I have nothing against dating or experimenting at your age as long as it's done carefully. And well, I understand your parents. I wouldn't trust a 19-year-old guy for the simple reason that boys that age have the reputation of being horny little bastards, no matter what they say. After all, a man's sexual peek is between the ages of 17-22 (approximately). So anyway, date whoever you want but just be careful and use your judgment.
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Doesn't matter16% Voted for by -TheLoneWolf-, shrug.
Age doesn't matter. I am currently in love with a guy who I thought to be somewhere around 16, who turned out to be 13 soon to be 14. I never thought him to be a good kid, and I found out that he really wasn't I don't know about other parts of his life, but I know that he has shot at cars and been suspended from school. He thought I was about 13-14, while I was only twelve. He also though I was some kind of a good kid, he seemed to be impressed and surprized when he found out that I fought at school a couple of times, though unlike him I din't get in trouble because no teacher would belive that I got into a fight. That is kind of the opposite to your case, The Great Escape, but still, he could have been 17 for all I care, it wouldn't change anything. Laws about that kind of stuff are needed for mostly stupid people who don't know when to do something and what not to. I am not at all for that virgin untill marige rule. Hey, I am not likely to marry at all.
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We must think nice about others16% Voted for by Mujtaba H Zaidi, tragediey-stricken.
My dear friend The Great Escape! it is really queer to find that in your society, every one is thought to be indulged in adultery after reaching the age of maturity(majority in law). Could you beleive that I celebrated my 31st birthday on 13th December in a state of pure virginity. Majority of my friends, both boys and girls, remain virgin till its wedding day and nuptial night. And we must not wrongly predict the others. Every one has his own life-style, and many of us observe chastity before and after marriage throughout life span!!!
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age is a numberVoted for by Neros Decay.
parents react based on how they came to love and be in the relationship they are in now. to them seeing a 19 year old date a 14 year old is odd and unknown, in turn fear and anger is spawned. foreign concepts attract all the negativity because no one wishes to think outside of their "normality". in russia, a 35 year old can date a 15 year old. america is the only country where the legal system plays a part in allowing what relationships are acceptable and what ones arent. questioning motives is fine but only to a degree. at some point enough is enough. in your situation, i think if you both love eachother and care then what your parents say and what the law says shouldnt matter. nothing can stop feelings that are real even age. its just a number and shouldnt be as important as society makes it. ive been in your situation before. i was 20 dating a 15 year old. both parents were against it but we managed fine. dont get discouraged.
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Depends on the personVoted for by prettyangeleyes.
It all depends on the person, hun. I am in a relationship & have been for over a year and a half with a wonderful man. He is the father of my two children and the kicker, he is 11 years older than me! In the laws eyes, age does matter yes, but your eyes it shouldn't...as long as you love that person with all your heart and would rather give your life for that person than see them unhappy, then you should be fine. We can't choose who we love, beleive me if I could, I would take back at least one person!
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December 22, 2005
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bob2314
May 6, 2006
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somehow i've become domesticated
speaking as a former 19 year old boy your parents fears are well grounded. i can't speak for your boy friend. but i know my motives at that time of my life were never pure. now speaking as a father of a daughter one who will be 14 in a couple of years. a relationship based on lies is never a good place to start. i know the five years between 14 & 19 doesn't sound like much to you but it is. you still have to finish high school and collage. don't be in such a rush to get older that you fail to enjoy your youth. before you know it you will be a mother of a 14 year old who's dating a 19 year old. i know i sound like an ageist sexist fool. but i don't have to be fair i'm a father!!!!! now go to your room your grounded for 30 years!!!!!!!!!Please register or login to comment! It's totally free