Here's the situation: A somewhat economically poor 18yr old girl who still lives with her dad likes a man. She was abused by friends as a child and hurt emotionally. She also has no job, car, license, or college plans and smokes pot. The man she likes is 28yrs old. He is a mechanic with no college education. When he was 16 he had unprotected sex with a girl and fathered two kids. He now sees them almost every other day. He does not live alone, but with a group of people. He is not with the mother because she is a habitual cheater. Should this 18yr old date this 28yr old man? Why or why not?
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No, she should't - But is she out to hurt herself?23% Voted for by Frail Braid, Chinese Troubadour, eightball, looking4realtruth, -Mz Spina-x0.
This girl sounds like so many others who decide to continue following the path of destructiveness that others psyched them into. If this girl turned her life around, than she would see how wrong he is for her. If she doesn't plan to, nor care, about turning her life around, than they are PERFECT for each other. Let them squabble in their own imperfections... I'd feel sorry for their children. But that's society. =/
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Go for it19% Voted for by Weydon, lonnielover, petethemeat, Benedictum.
Aside from how it might be a good idea for the girl to set some goals centered around HERSELF, there's really little reason not to see this man based upon the info provided.
While it is becoming less common with today's generation, a lot of people go on through life without college degrees and are able to make more than ends meet. So he made some "mistakes" in his path and fathered two kids--he sees them all the time so that at least implies he cares for them. And the reason he left the mother was not because of the kids or because he couldn't handle the responsibility but because she cheated on him (seemingly more than once).
So, like I said, aside from how it's possible she should concentrate more on getting herself in order (maybe try school, maybe try a job, just figure yourself out) than worry so much about a new realtionship there seems to be no reason (with the info supplied) to hesitate DATING him. What's the big deal? It's a date. Don't repeat his mistakes of unprotected sex would be your main concern--and don't butt in with his childen's life (both in taking him away from them and in trying to be anything more than an alright lady that's around sometimes).
What is the deal with this "group" of people he lives with? Are we talking he has a couple of roomates or he lives with a cult?
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Even for someone on the outside-its still hard to decide.14% Voted for by Eosin, ThisEndUp, looking4realtruth.
It's actually hard to say with this one because I'm all for love..but she is 18 years old. There is a whole life ahead of her. No matter what she thinks..it still isnt too late to change things around..do something with herself. But this 28 yr old has kids..and seemingly no future..I say Take on her own future then worry about somebody elses life. Once she gets herself together maybe..but Im sure by then..she wont think twice about the decision she made.
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It's time to wait14% Voted for by praise-reborn, ThisEndUp, birdlover06.
He made mistakes and isn't in the best situation. Forgivable, of course. But what about the girl?
No job, no income, no car? What would happen if he was fired? What about the other woman, mother of his children? Is she the jealous, vindictive type?
I'm not to say that the poor can't get by, after all my husband and I barely have anything and it's by God's grace we go on. But there must be SOME kind of planning. It might work out, MIGHT, if she has a job to fall back on, a nestegg for emergencies. Does she even realise what responsibility and emotional baggage she's taking on?
Yes, it might work, but if I were here I'd work on myself first THEN worry about relationships.
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HelloVoted for by Jbyame.
Omgosh no she should not marry that man if she prays God will give her the man she deserves and bring her out of all the miserys she is going through!
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Unstable + Unstable= DisasterVoted for by gap.
Both of these people are on shaky ground and have equally unstable personalities. Some stability should enter the picture before you should even think of a relationship with an equally as unstable person.
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Why not?Voted for by me alone.
No one can decide but her. If she loves him then why not. No gaurrentees it will work out but how will you know if you don't try. They should try just casual dating for awhile if it works out then they can get more serious.
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Go for what you deserve18yr old girl,Voted for by OrangeMoon.
You are young and have potential in your life. Even if you don't have college aspirations, you have potential because you have plenty of time in your life to make constructive, positive choices. You don't want to go down a road that is not going to lead you to happiness. This man is in a messy situation and will likely not be able to give enough of himself to you for you to feel satisfied or even happy.
It's OK if you don't have a job or license or your own place at 18. You're still young. For the sake of your own happiness, find a job that you don't mind doing so that you can have some cash to get your own place some day and feel free and look for a man who does not come with as much bagage so that you can get the attention that you deserve.
You still have your life ahead of you; you don't need to just settle for what you've got. -
No moral foundationWhen you raise a generation of children with no christian moral foundation, and with the attitudes reflected as prevalent on this site, what else would you possably expect, this is the story of the many, not the fewVoted for by Dwn.
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