Why? How? did it teach you nething? do you kno neone? how’d you help the person out? what would you do, if you were trying?
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Why?16% Voted for by strayAMO, Aidenn, prettyangeleyes, The Risen Sun, DeathxFaerie. (6 total)
WARNING: Some graphic content.
I beleive it could be that, the pain and shame and the disapointment of a loved one becomes for a short time becomes too much to bear. My friend Al sliced his neck from ear to ear and told his mother sorry as he staggerd bleeding holding his neck to the neighbors stairs where he collapsed. He survived some how (thank God) coma for 2 week's. His life went downhill from there. My sister Alyssa (13) hung herself in her closet minits after we argued about some stupid ish, she ran into her room slammed the door I usually go shortly after and talk with her to figure it out and explain why I was angry. But this time I continued to make dinner, and ignored the first bang I heard (my instinct was to race up there and tell her not to bang around, but probably more aggresively then needed.) Then when I heard the second bigger bang I now was angry thinking she was breaking stuff in her own anger so I raced up the stairs and as I was doing so my mother told me to leave her be and not give her more shit, for some reason this time I listened. (I usually went in even if my mom said not to) My mother figured she needed her time alone and was planning to go up herself in a half our or less to talk. I went back to making the spagghetti sauce, finished the preperation and started to let it cook for a few. Me and my mother began talking and I said that I think something is happening with my sis in terms of behavior and that in my talk's with her I sensed something was really bothering her but couldnt get her to tell me how she felt on the inside, I suggested to my mom that she talk and try to dig out the feeling's bottling up in Alyssa. She agreed, then I went back to put the spaghetti in a pot to boil and stir the rest up, and my mother went to Alyssa's room to talk to her. She knocked with no responce, again. Tried to open the door but there was a dresser moved in front of it, then she forced it open, still expecting to see her crying on her bed or something. She didnt see her on her bed and looked to her right out of the corner of her eye she seen Alyssa's feet poking out of the closet went to investigate wondering what she was doing in there, and that's when I heard my mother yell my sister's name then mine. She yelled it in such a way that I knew I had to move quick (it was the scream I hope to never hear from her again, or anyone), I insantly knew what she must have done, somewhat with disbeleif but i was none the less urgent (I was so effing scared about what I was going to have to do). I looked as my mom ran to meet me at the top of the stairs with a look of indescribable pain and fear I have never seen before and probably never will, I continued into my sisters room followed by mom begging me to hurry and do something saying she was in the closet, with out stopping at all moved to the closet to see my sis hanging life less and colourless, looked back at my desperate mother, and yelled for her to "go and call fucking 911 right now, go!" she left imediately, so I continued to untie my sis and lie her down on the floor,(I didnt understand what is going on, I cant beleive the pain Im feeling, the fuckin desperation Im going through, so many thoughts and feeling's) I remained as fucking focused and calm as I could be, yelling for my mom to hurry with 911, and I was attempting CPR (without really knowing proper technique but trying my best) pumping her chest, breathing into her mouth, looking up and around begging her to come back, hoping so bad I would see her start breathing like in the movies, and beleiving it was going to happen because this cant be fucking happening. My mother came back shortly with the phone, I quickly started talking with the person on the other line explaing what had happend and what I was trying to do, she gave me some instruction on what I had to to help her, and I started with that, trying to stay calm, orderd my mom to run out side with the phone to flag down the ambulance when she see's it because I know time is a factor in these situations. I continued with my instruction's (crying, screaming, begging my sis to come back to us, it will be ok I swear, asking her why. the pain and utter desperation and shimmer of hope was absolutely unbearable, but I had to continue calmly and consistantly till the Paramedics arrived. I could not believe what I was having to do, I dont know how I was able to do what I was doing, this cant be fucking real) I heard them rushing up the stairway and I was still desperately trying to save her life right untill I seen them in front of the door, I yelled at the first guy to "fuckin save her" "now" things then get somewhat blurry for me.... I know I ran to see mom I was saying she will be alright the ambulance is here now, saying I tried to save her mom, Im sorry.... Praying, crying begging her, the police came in and started asking a few question's while the medic's were supposedly buisy helping Alyssa, Im not sure how long they were with her upstair's, and mom's and I kept listening for a good sign from them up there.... I fell to the ground with a pain that is absolutely indescribable, then calm for my mom's sake and re assuring her that everything will be ok because this cant happen... I refused to beleive any thing else. Minits passed. Then they started moving her on the stretcher with tubes and thing's in her mouth ect... and took her to the ambulance, I took this as a good sign and felt more releived and happy that she was going to be ok, thanking god begging god. As they were moving her I asked if they brought her back, and I cant quite remember the responce I got, I only remember getting a strange stare, then seeing the ambulance drive away. A neighbor offerd to drive us to the hospital which thankfully is only a very short distance and we went. Waited in a private room with a hospital counselor trying to think positive, and actually beleiving she was going to be ok. Holding my mom appologizing to her, reasuring her. Then I seen the doctor walk in, and I looked at him knowing he was going to tell us the good new's, then he calmly, (without expression on his face or nothing for me to read at all, no emotion) and he said coldly "Im sorry but your daughter passed away" I hated him, I wanted to smash him for giving up on my sister. My mother screamed again with pain and disbelief, ..... I said for him to go back and fuckin try and save her (memory starts blurring again) I just remember feeling a hell fire pain and desperation, I wasnt quite able to grasp how unbeleivable this was and that this cant be happening, I was loosing touch with reality.... I wanted to die.. I must have been feeling so many thing's all at once and is hard to describe exactly.... I wanted to die. I felt like I was going to die. Im sorry mom, Alyssa....Why? I still think that she didnt mean to do it, it just went too far. She probably expected me to stop her in time, because I always went to talk to her immediatley after. Why did I not this one time I will never know, FUCK!!. I love you Alyssa, I would do anything to have you back....betray Any thing. Let me die instead. Why isnt it me who is dead. You are so happy go lucky, you are my best friend, almost like a daughter to me. I wish I could have been a better brother, I hate my self for that. Forgive me please. Im so sorry mom. I cant wait to see you again, I miss you baby girl.... Your big bro alway's ... love forever,
Reese
Sorry for the long story, I never really talked about it in such detail before... My advice is to be more understanding of loved one's feeling's especially girl's who are just starting to become teenager's. Talk to them, dont judge them, do not be too hard on them. Tell them of suicide, and of how much pain it will cause to all those they love dearly. Tell them that there is nothing they can do that is so bad that it cant be fixed, no feeling's that cant be discussed, you will love them and respect them "No Matter What". Every thing can be worked out. You will never really be dissapointed in them. We are allowd to make mistakes, and nothing done to them can break the love a family feel's. Every thing can be made better. Tell them that their life and safety is the most important thing in your life. Love them. This doesnt have to happen to anybody, and I feel for any family and freind who has to go through such an ordeal. My heart goes out to you.
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On the surface............10% Voted for by Nosferatu, 5th position Gb, strayAMO, Gyne and Tonic.
.....it may seem that there are many different reasons for people to try to commit suicide. In my opinion though the reason is the same for them all. Their mental state is such that it allows them to overcome the instinct for survival. It is only then that suicide becomes an option. As long as the instinct for survival is stronger, the option of self termination is not considered.
If humanity is defined in terms of how well we can overcome our animal instincts, then in this regard I guess those who commit suicide are more human than those who would or could not. For it is they who have managed to over come the strongest of all instincts.
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REALLY10% Voted for by il1019, Morgaine, Darkenend Soul 2006, this pretty girl.
If people REALLY want to die, they don't 'try' to commit suicide, or tell everyone they're suicial; if they REALLY want to die they actually do it. That's why I think we'll never know.
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ppl commit suicide coz...8% Voted for by Sweet Angel16, spanner, strayAMO.
Because of the problems they have and maybe there life just gets worser and so they can't live with it! for everyone knows its not a game and neither does anyone really want to end their life like that just like everyone they want to live! but there are many reasons for why they may want to do this and commiting suicide may come from ideas or from starting cutting ureself and harming urself in such ways from being upset and abused by others and it not stopping and so you start thinking whats life? and then just want to end it-its from what ive seen
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Two times5% Voted for by this pretty girl, SuperMoose.
Suicide is usally one of two things. The first, and more common(in my beliefs, I have no actual numbers to support it though) is when the person attempts but does not want to succeed. In this kind of situation it is a cry for a help or at least an expression of the realization of the need for help. Unfortunately, the people that do this are usually those that do not know how to or a very bad at getting help for themselves and often find it easier to find help for others. The second situation or scenario, whatever you want to call it is when someone wants to succed and this is usually caused by a sense of uselessness in life or an urge to end the pain. No one wants to die, not truely. There are those that are curious about death and those that don’t care, but no one wants to. It’s against human nature itself. Suicide is an expression and an escape. That’s what I think at least.
I have to be honest and say that I have done a lot of stupid stuff in my life, including trying to kill myself, or at teh very least testing my limits. I’ve had some pretty stupid ideas and curiosities on how to do it as well. I don’t mean to play down the idea of suicide, but I was curious once to see if I could catch hypothermia or at least get really sick by sitting in front of my refridgerator with the door open. I didn’t but I was curious and I didn’t really care what would have happened if I had gotten sick(though the possability was low). I’d like to know what any of you think of this, by the way.
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A strange trick of the mind5% Voted for by jotokai, snowraven.
It is simple, but hard to put to words. Ovid said it well: "Trapped in a nightmare without cease, I dream of poison to bring peace." The suicidal person craves some feeling that they imagine comes only with death: peace, freedom, numbness, nothingness, revenge. They believe that this surgery they are about to perform will bring them the feelings they want- or take away the ones they can no longer stand. And they begin to take action.
It is as simple as that. Same as one quits a job or goes to the dentist, only the prescription is much, much more dire. And with very few exceptions, entirely unnecessary. (I personally decided to wait my time. When all the bits of me agree that it's time to die, I will. All in good time.)
I found for myself, that a great part of stopping the urge to suicide was to stop saying things like, "I wish I was dead." It might make sense and it might be OK at that moment, but when you really get to feeling bad, then it makes a much stronger kind of sense. Then the fight for life becomes a narrower one.
Don't do it. And don't try to cure it on your own. Call a doctor. You can feel better and live.
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hopelessness...5% Voted for by this pretty girl, ohsweetie2788.
people try ot commit suicide for many reasons. some because they want to end the pain of life and others because they are desperate and others because they wanted to test their limits and went too far. i personally tried because everything to me was hopeless. i had lost my cousins to sucide and found them and i lost my granparents all in a couple months. i felt hopeless and so helpless and the excruciating pain i went through day in and day out was too much for me to bear. i attempted about 4 times but could never go through with it completely because of my friends yet i still feel hopeless today and contemplate the ways i could kill myself everyday. it is a sickness which has a very rare cure that i have not yet found.
Ash
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It is one's right.5% Voted for by justonewish, Stride.
It is one’s right to end their own life because they were not given an opportunity to choose whether they should exist or not.
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PerceptionsVoted for by wbiro.
Suicide is based on one's perceptions. The question is, "Do one's perceptions reflect reality?" My opinion- if it's a social perception, certainly not! One is imprisoned by one's own social perceptions, which change from day to day. So is it smart to commit suicide based on one's current social perceptions? Answer: No. Example of non-social perception- physical. Example- you are in a burning highrise building and you perceive the heat will kill you in seconds. Do you jump?
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Can't bear to liveVoted for by BallerinaWithFins.
I can completely understand why a person would want to kill themselves. So many things accumulate in a soul and some people cannot handle the pain of this world and certain events. I was suicidal when I was 12 because of childhood trauma and various torments from society and being alone. Pain vuilt up and as a young girl I couldn’t handle it. So I wanted to really die by the time I was 15. With others, I help out suicidal people all the time. I play my role as a counseler to prevent it. I give my time to go inside the minds of suicidals to understand them. Pain can just be too much to handle.
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.Voted for by -BlackKnight-.
I honestly can’t understand why someone would be suicidal. Nobody ever said life would be, or was supposed to be, easy. What gives suicidal people the right to act in such a conceited matter as to kill themselves, think about it, wish for it, etc.? Nevermind the fact that there many out there that have gone through much worse and got through it all.
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mMm...Voted for by Kutebrunette07.
Suicidal is hard subject for me, ive tried, and its just cuz i was upset,about alot of thingsinm y life, feeling like i let everyone down, n i didnt belong on this earth nemore…. it didnt teach me nething, cuz since then i have tried and thought about it again. i kno many others that do it each n everday too, i used to talk to thm about ti n now im doing it, so i cant say nething to them.. sucide, its teh worst, thign in life, so many people do it each day, we loose our loved ones just becuz of them being upset and letting go
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This answer is from experianceVoted for by Scorched Phoenix.
I tried it 3 times within 6 months… Why? because I was afraid, I knew I was upon this earth for some reason, but nothing was showing, my life was feeling worse each day I rose and each night I laid to sleep. I couldn’t understand how people were living a happy life, I was over whelmed by this depression. However that was just over 8 months ago, and since learning meditation and martial arts I’ve been learning to see the world and life in a different light. Its like the Martix film, I am now seeing nature, I’m listening to my soul, and I believe many people try suicide because they become too over whelmed with they way they’re lives are going.
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It doesn't have to be badVoted for by Happy 420.
I think it happens when someone’s Mind realizes what he or she thought was real really isn’t. When this happens the Mind starts to break down all the old foundations of reality in order to make room for the new mental creation to take place. Now when this happens people feel an intense disconnect from themselves and reality creating massive depression.
I enjoy this process. Yes when the breaking and building is going on it’s not very comfortable but I’ve been through it so many times now I know that the end result is always a sense of new enlightenment. At the end of the process my Mind is reconstructed in a much stronger and productive fashion.
My advice is to learn everything you can let your Mind break and rebuild, as many times as you can in a lifetime. All you have to do is not kill yourself and you’ll learn to love it.
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April 4, 2006
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May 22, 2006
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:(
You made me cry.....you really did. Don't worry about it. What's gone is gone, look ahead. God bless you.November 27, 2007
2 complex
The human psyche is far too complex to associate it with animal instincts; as such, those instincts are devoid of rationalization. Since this is extraneous to the intent of my response, I will let sleeping dogs lie.
To me it is not feasible to establish a cause and effect relationship, from a generalized perspective. Indeed, from an analytical function, C&F relationships can only be established when dependent and independent variables are understood and definitively studied.
Baring the influences of chemical substance abuse and biological and psychological abnormalities, one may see a common denominator in the pervading sense of hopelessness. It is in this context that spiritually related concepts are focused, teaching that under a well rooted believe-system, a superior force will determine and alter expected outcome. “All things are possible through faith” (another element that unique to the human experience).
As an object, let’s take a fifty year old male. He is despondent. He loses his job as a manager, as his company relocates operations off-shore. He reluctantly decides to sell what both he and his wife refer to as their “dream home”. He relocates his wife and children to a new city that promises more opportunities in his field. Six months lapse, his unemployment benefits run out as he is unable to find suitable work. His wife continuously badgers him, as she keeps a watchful eye on the bank accounts, seeing that funds could be exhausted in the upcoming year, should he continue to be unfruitful in his career pursuit. The husband is diligent in his attempt to find work, and utilizes all of the professional services in his job search… not a single offer is tendered! He feels a growing sense of anxiety and betrayal as his wife continuously complains; this is coupled with the fact that she has not been gainfully employed for the full eight years of their marriage, and though the market for her skills are in greater demand, she remains reluctant to reenter the job market.
Then another bomb is laid on this man’s door step, as one day he returns home to an empty home. There are no notes or messages conveying the whereabouts of his wife and children, why they left, or for what duration of time they would be gone for. The next morning comes and the man reviews his on-line statements; he discovers large sums of money have been removed from his accounts. A bank investigation reveals that the money was transferred to another bank by his wife. After four days of searching he finally establishes phone contact with his wife, only to find that she has returned to their previous home town, a 1000 miles away... she informs him that she wants a divorce.
With his remaining holdings, he is left paying all the financial obligations, including the large home that they signed a one-year lease on.
Let’s take a synopsis of these events... note; this all transpires over the course of eight months.
-Lost career position
-Liquidated House
-Relocated Family
-Long-term unemployment
-Sudden and substantial removal of funds
-Sudden and unexpected loss of loved ones (separation of 1000 miles)
-Stressful legal proceedings
-Lawyers fees and court costs
-Further financial loss through division of assets
-Child custody issues (3 minor children)
-Divorce
-Child support
This is a rational man who’s experienced a simultaneous string of negative events, each in their own right are serous issues, significant causative factors for depression. This man is despondent. As he analyzes the complexity of these situations, he has a deepening sense that circumstances are well beyond his control. For one, in deciding to remarry he also decided to start a family again, and now has three minor children he is responsible for. As a courtesy to his second wife, he allowed her to quit her job, as it was her preference to be a stay-at-home-mom. Not only did he father three children, but they also had custody of his wife’s son. With a single income to raise a family of six, the only significant asset was their home, and little money was afforded for investments or retirement. Secondly, he is heavily experienced in manufacturing. This is an area that has seen significant job losses, with so much of the sector experiencing outsource and relocation to off-chore sites. Third is age. The current trend for discrimination is shifting down to around 45 years of age. It is not so much the traditional reasoning for discrimination, but there is an added concern of liability… the cost for a company to insure an aging person.
You can see that to consul such an individual is no small task. With the measure of business sense this man possess, you cannot white-wash the circumstances. His drive has been, and continues to be, a need for success. To the pragmatic financial issues, add in the emotional aspects of losing a wife that he was joyfully committed to, and children that he esteemed as part of this divine union, and you would not question his viewpoint that there is no resolve to be found (hopeless).
So in conclusion, the complexity of an individual’s plight must be understood before one can ascertain that a person has suicidal tendencies, as such, and get a vision of what is driving the thought processes. The person I have described has never made any attempt, and at times it amazes me when I consider all of adversity he continues to endure. But I also know it is a topic that he can speak on, profoundly. So I couldn’t say he’s out of the woods on this.
mudgod
November 27, 2007
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TeChNoWC
November 28, 2007
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tfry
November 28, 2007
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That took guts
Good on you, I'd never be that open with anyone, let alone everyone on the web. Its really helped with understanding for all.Please register or login to comment! It's totally free