There are 5 choices, 11 votes for Mystikrypton's debate

What if you are never someone's first love?

• "Love"

  LOVE

  You know what's sad? It's a thought that just suddenly crossed my mind... How sad would it be to go through your whole life never having been someone's first love?

  I'll be 18 in less than seven months, an age when most everyone has apparently fallen in "love" at least once. And everyone has a first...

  But think about how sad it would be to never have a single person in the world ever remember you fondly as their first love. To never open up a new world to someone, giving them a feeling of pure love that they've never before felt...

  But instead, to go through your life loving (if you love at all) people that have already experienced love, their "first love" being a title that you can never fulfill or replace no matter how aggressive and sincere your attempts. And no matter how strong your love, they will always have a special place in their heart reserved not for you, but for the person they loved first. And that's the one person you can never be, the one part of their heart you can never win over.

  I think I'm too old to ever be anyone's first love now. It makes me sad. And it kind of makes me never want to fall in love...

  After all, who would want to fall in love after they've already been in love before? Why would anyone want to relive that stupid torture? And then the probable heartache to endure afterwards... What's the point?

  And if you knew that you could never be that person...that first for someone...why would you want to ever be just some secondary infatuation? It would feel like being a back-up, like someone they can never truly love because you were not their first, but just another person for the fun of it, not for anything real or pure...it's degrading.

  Anyone that has ever loved another can never love someone else completely. A piece of their heart will be eternally devoted to their first love no matter what, and that's inevitable.

  And who wants to just be sort of loved? To truly be in love means to be head over heels, homerun with every glance, reaching for the stars with every touch, and out of breath with every kiss. Can't eat, can't sleep, can't get them off your mind kind of thing. If someone's experienced that before, how can they ever completely do it again without remembering the past?

  I don't think you can. The theoretical solution? Just marry your first love in the end and leave the forgotten sort-of-loves that were never the first to rot in solitude for eternity. You'll always remember the first. Everything after that is forgettable, so there's no use keeping them in your memories.

  Not to mention, when faced with both first and not first, any fool will choose the most familiar and memorable over what-came-next, even if the "second best" was actually the best after all.

  I have had a first many things so far in my life, but I don't think I have ever truly been in love. Nor have I ever truly been loved. And I doubt there will ever be anyone that can ever someday say that I was their first love. And if it can't be real, why bother?

  Perhaps none of us have ever been in love. What do teenagers know of love? Although most of us claim to have experienced it, we grow apart, we fight, we don't cherish whatever strong bond we possess. And then love falls, bewildered and vulnerable, depressed and heartbroken. And we try to move on, to forget. But you cannot forget love... So if love returns one day, can you bear the intensity of exchanging glances at each other without "falling in love" all over again?

  What if every "love" that has ever wronged you steers you clear from any true love you could possibly have in the future? What if, while couples hold hands and kiss each other softly and make love, you can't help looking around and falling out of love with everyone you see? Are you doomed to a life without love? Are you even worthy of a life of love in the first place?

  Why have I never fallen in love? Why has it taken 17 years to even come anywhere close to it at all? It's obvious enough, considering appearance is the first thing anyone notices. But what if appearances didn't matter? Would I have "fallen in love" already? Could there have been someone in the world that could say I was their first love? Or do I obtain some sort of anti-love chemical in my being that detracts anyone from loving me and reminds me to never trust love?

  Perhaps I ought to never fall in love and save myself that way. Perhaps, with every possible "love" that might ever come into my life between tonight and the next 77 years, I should decline any interaction and just lead a successful life of loneliness. Would it be so terrible?

  Of course it would. Who can live without love? No one. In other words, I'll probably drop dead soon.

  With a sincere love and (simultaneous) lack of love, In time, Alleè

  36%  Voted for by Mystikrypton, -another-, ambitiouspoet, Kei-Aira.

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    Weydon
    July 17, 2006
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    I've never been someone's first love. It never bothered me. Never even crossed my mind LOL It's really not a big deal. My loves were deep and my loves were true. I don't need to leave my mark in a person for the failed-love to have been worth it. If I did, I didn't really love them all that much. Besides, while I don't hold the title of first love, I'm sure I'm not forgotten or just some vague memory of "that guy I used to see around back in '03..." "After all, who would want to fall in love after they've already been in love before? Why would anyone want to relive that stupid torture? And then the probable heartache to endure afterwards" HAHAHAHA! I agree that it sucks, but I'd be willing to bet 90% if the world does this. "Anyone that has ever loved another can never love someone else completely. A piece of their heart will be eternally devoted to their first love no matter what, and that's inevitable." What? What are you talking about? Yeah, my first love still holds a weight of importance as she played a part in my development. So does my next love, and the next. They were all important to me, and will always be something that made me into who I am today. But so what? This means nothing. I wasn't their first loves but I wouldn't let that bother me. We were exclusive and we were in love. I didn't need every "piece of their heart" because there are no actual pieces. There's no divisions and amounts. Before I even met them "much" of my heart went to my family and remains there still. And they loved other people besides me. But our past romances and current "heart levels" had nothing to do with what we were doing in the moment. "You'll always remember the first. Everything after that is forgettable, so there's no use keeping them in your memories" You relive the firsts with every new person. The first time you kissed that person. The first time you got nervous because you realized you loved them more than yourself, and had no idea if the feelings would be returned. The first time you do anything with them--even if it's not the first time you did that thing in general. And then there's "only's". Something unique, idiosyncratic. Those are always there. Same thing with just regular friends. "Not to mention, when faced with both first and not first, any fool will choose the most familiar and memorable over what-came-next, even if the "second best" was actually the best after all." To be honest with you, looking back I'd say my second was my greatest love so far. Like picking a favorite pet, I may like to pretend I love them all equally but the back of my mind (and heart) always knows that there was one above the rest. Of course in the case it's more about retrospect and current position of who I am. During my third time around I figured I found something just as good or better than what I had before (though primarily I don't think about that at all, I just think to enjoy all there is that I have). "What if every "love" that has ever wronged you steers you clear from any true love you could possibly have in the future? " Yeah, sure. That could happen. So could going to the movies or staying home or missing the bus or finally catching the early bus. You can't stop yourself from living based on the idea that your truly-truly-TRUE love could have been if you just did something different. "Who can live without love? No one. In other words, I'll probably drop dead soon." I am not currently in love and am perfectly happy with myself. Frankly, I have a better outlook on life than I ever have in my life and things are going great. Perhaps you're just focusin too much on this love stuff. You seem to think it's main attraction of life and there's all these set rules and boundaries to it too. It's just a fun, exciting, deep thing between 2 people. It's wonderful to have, but life is also wonderful without it if you take the time just forget about it for a while. If you are at all serious this "dropping dead" I'd very much suggest going to some grief counseling website and/or school guidance department. If you're VERY serious I would like it if you checked out some crisis intervention websites or called a hotline like 1-800-SUICIDE. (Do you know this is the second time in about 20 minutes I've felt compelled to suggest this to someone on here? And it was also dealing with love. :( Maybe I'm reading into things too much, but I wish people would stop worrying about the complexeties of romance so much. It is in fact difficult and frustrating and occasionally heartbreaking, but there is so much else to enjoy about life and I wish they could see that.)
  • • Mystikrypton
      July 18, 2006
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      That was quite insightful and I suppose I agree with a good deal of it... I was asked to write on the topic of "love," so it is true that I focused whole-heartedly on love and not much of anything else. Although, I was not quite that serious about the "dropping dead" in the sense that I might commit suicide. I simply wrote that in there because love is, apparently, what makes the world go round. Love is all around, whether it's the romantic kind or not, and without it, a part of you just doesn't feel completely alive. Don't you feel most livid when you're in love?
  • 
    Weydon
    July 18, 2006
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    LOL I can honeslty say that while in love I pretty much feel the full range of human emotions. It is both one of the greatest and oen of the most annoying things in the world. Overall I'd say the pros outweigh the cons, but where I am right now in my life I am really enjoying being single. PS Glad to hear about the not suicidal thing.

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