What if you've been heartbroken say more than once right, your first love really screwed your mind up, left you on the floor bleeding your heart out,and you thought you'd never ever love again... but then some time on a year later your recovering and you meet someone who suprises you (you can see yourself having a future with) they change you and your whole perspective of giving up, but yet once again they end up hurting you (nearly as much as your first love,but not as bad) is there any hope for people like me. I feel as if i'll never find someone who i'll have a deep connection with, i've had other relationships. I've only ever in my life felt something strong for my first love and this recent guy, we weren't officially in a relationship but we shared so much time talking about our personal stories,families, our dreams, some of our past pain etc. He was older so i feel as if he taught me things about life, as i am younger. i felt so close to him. We were planning to start a relationship, we shared our feelings as well. I was at a time and point in life where i believed i'd truly never feel something as strong for another person but it happend. And now i'm all alone, it just kills & scares me so much to trust after i've been hurt, to be let down all over again. I'm worried about finding someone else, will i ever be able to love someone completely..i do have opportunities to be in relationships but for me i hardly ever find someone i have a deep connection with. I think i'm going out of my mind. Im too depressed and would really appreciate some feedback, as i've just experienced this problem recently. By the way i am young, I'm of 17..yes yes you probably think maybe she doesn't know what she's talking about or what love is.. but whatever this feeling is.. it's a feeling that never ends, never goes away, it's stuck with me 24/7, i can't deny it, i must accept and live with this heartache, it's a feeling of devestation and feeling incomplete and empty, you'd risk and do anything in the world. You can't eat, sleep, think straight, and all u do is cry..and think.....what if?? Love is blind.....and it hurt's. I'd appreciate if someone who's got similiar stories could share with me, anything or something. I'm down and out and can't depend on anyone at the moment, so if there's any hope of stories of people finding love after many heartaches, please share! THANKS A MILLION!
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Natural60% Voted for by Weydon, Kei-Aira, kennybaby05.
"your first love really screwed your mind up, left you on the floor bleeding your heart out,and you thought you'd never ever love again"
Welcome to the horrible world of everyone
"is there any hope for people like me. "
Of course.
"feel as if i'll never find someone who i'll have a deep connection with"
That's natural. Everyone feels like this sometimes. It's important that you focus on yourself some. This should be something that bothers you sometimes, but not your constant thought. You don't need that to complete you. That's just a nice thing people have sometimes. You're already complete and capable of being happy without that.
"I'm worried about finding someone else, will i ever be able to love someone completely..i do have opportunities to be in relationships but for me i hardly ever find someone i have a deep connection with."
Again, completely natural. What you said about this guy sort of teaching you things, it's very true. Perhaps moreso because he's older, but it would have been as such even if he wasn't. He was an important part of your life and his part in it, and the effect of his leaving it, will help shape you into the person you are becoming.
You're going to feel like you won't find anyhting else that deep for a while. First love is tricky because we fall so deeply with little caution, and everythings new. So in a way you may not really get "THAT" back. But so what. I've never forgotten my first love and I've never had anyone like her again--probably never will. But my other loves were much richer and I dare say more realistic.
Something else that will make this tricky for you is how you were saying you weren't in a relationship at first (or possible even at all!). You were friends, growing together and blossoming slowly. Both of you, I can only assume, were gradually flirting and sharing some sense of desire between each other. An unspoken (and physically unfulfilling...) romance that budded out of the friendship...How do you expect other guys to measure up to that?! You were close to this guy as a friend, while simultaneously having a crush on him (which usually implies tricking yourself into seeing signs that aren't there lol), and then slowly fell in love. It will take other guys time too. It will get better. Just enjoy other guys company if anything, and overtime it will happen again (just be careful).
Most importantly, first take some time chill. Be you and be happy.
"it's a feeling that never ends, never goes away, it's stuck with me 24/7, i can't deny it, i must accept and live with this heartache, it's a feeling of devestation and feeling incomplete and empty, you'd risk and do anything in the world. You can't eat, sleep, think straight, and all u do is cry"
Oh yes. It's God-awful lol
It will get better. LOL I know that doesn't help, but I totally swear this passes.
"and think.....what if??"
Here's an important step in moving on. You can think what if. Heck, you SHOULD think what if. What if things were different? What if things could STILL work somehow? WHY did it go wrong? Remember how great it was! ...WAS. Always, when grieving this, focus on the fact that it WAS. Remember that this is something lost. The "what if's" and "maybe still's", identify that it's NOT what is and won't be. You're mourning this--which means it's gone. Remember that as you cry your eyes out, it will help you stop imagining up what if scenarios so much.
Though, if you ever feel so upset you're gonna kill yourself or something, you should probably start thinking happy thoughts. And contact a loved one and/or a suicide hotline like 1-800-SUICIDE. ...Sorry if that was morbid and presumptuous, but I wouldn't want to take any chances
Besides, if that was SO wrong you can at least laugh. Laughings always good."I'd appreciate if someone who's got similiar stories could share with me, anything or something. I'm down and out and can't depend on anyone at the moment, so if there's any hope of stories of people finding love after many heartaches, please share!"
OH-HO...I've rambled far too much already. But I assure you, it's possible and happens pretty often actually. Things get better. I'm a much happier, healthier, and wiser person today after losing a couple loves and moving on.
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