There are 3 choices, 6 votes for JFourie's debate

Relationships

  • Relationships

    Relationships

    Love and happiness are two different things; to share an emotional love connection with someone and to be happy for someone are two different things. And even though it has been said that love comes with happiness it is only true to some point. If happiness comes with love, enjoy it when it comes; don’t expect it, for this might compromise your love for each other. If you are unhappy in a relationship discuss it with your partner and find the root of the problem. Everything has a cause; surely there must be some explanation, uncertainty can only hurt the relationship.

    Some have the crazy idea that they are not meant for love or will never find happiness, some bury their sorrow so deep, and that they themselves don’t know what is hurting them. Others jump from lover to lover without an eye wink. Some say love will find them and other say only time will tell.

    No matter who you are love is destined to appear; Introvert or extrovert, Cinderella or the ugly queen. Love knows no face expression, no past, and no hurt. You don’t have to fulfill some category to be loved. The question will be; will you ignore it and hope it goes away, because of uncertainty and your insecurities or you can take a chance and be surprised.

    Age does not matter; if you are in love with a 50 year old and you are a mere teenager it quite alright. But remember if its love, if you have any alternative agenda’s its not love, marrying someone for money is not love or anything other. Love is only you and your partner, what society might think is there problem, if your love is influenced by society its not true love.

    Being around negative people will also have an impact on you, whether it is conscious or subconscious. If you are surrounded by negative people, you will most likely start to act and feel like them; and so the opposite; If you are around sincere, gracious prudent people, you will also have these qualities. Life is only how one perceives it to be through the identity you perceive yourself to have.

    Your past will influence your actions, conscious and subconsciously. What you decide to do at a given moment is based on your past. For example: If you have been hurt many times in a relationship your thoughts about relationships would have changed and you will make the relation that the probability you will be hurt again is common.

    Trust is a necessity for any relationship, if that trust has been breached by being disloyal to your partner or similar experience, that trust will never be regained to its original state. “What if” comes into play. Though humans will always have doubt whether your partner was unfaithful or not in the past. But if such an incident did occur; and violated your partners trust, it wont be easily regained.

    Your partner needs physical and emotional connection; Being romantic goes a lot further then a candle lit dinner, or going to the movies, and each partner might prefer it different. But love goes beyond anything materialistic. Be thoughtfulness, fun, tender and secure. Don’t seem desperate, keep your individuality and I promise a successful lasting relationship.

    Communication is another necessity for a relationship. How you treat your lover will influence their actions, if you are always sincere towards your partner they will return the favor in an equal manner, but if you yell at your partner and treat them like rubbish, for whatever reason; they will respond like rubbish. It’s also necessary to understand the opposite sex, if your lover is dressed in an improper manner for an occasion, respond with dignity and kindly ask your lover if they would prefer something else, instead of demanding them to change their appearance. Another example: If you should correct your lover in front of guests, it would be disrespectful and embarrassing for them.

    Keep in mind that even though you are in a relationship, both of you still have your individuality, if one of you wants to go and watch rugby it is wrong to assume that your partner will share your enthusiasm for this particular event. Rather enjoy things that both of you enjoy doing, I am sure if you are together there must be lots of them. And doing this in a blissful mood, can only improve your relationship.

    J.Fourie

    66%  Voted for by JFourie, Weydon, Dwn, Fallnangel.
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  • trust and unconditional love

    The only thing trustworthy is unconditional love. The common garden variety of conditional love incorrectly perceives trust as rules for happiness. This is not happiness but comfort. Comfort has a way of inducing sleep as apposed to rest. Rest is a peacful concept (r.i.p.), sleep can contain restlessness (nightmares). Example; If one is generally concerned for one's partner's happiness (unconditionally) then anything that partner does in life is something that partner needs to do in order to learn. If trust is about percieving that only you can offer everything your partner needs then this is a delusional relationship (the pain of it is yours to learn from. Pain is the teacher, the avoidance of it is for the sleepy comfort seeker). If a partner of one meets someone else he/she would rather be with then that is the reality. Unconditional love will TRUST he/she is making the right decision for themselves (and it must be right for them as them is making the decision) and wish them godspeed. The common conditional variety, rather than wish godspeed, will desire gods vengence. To conditionally trust (expectations), dissappointment is the reward (the badge of victimhood).

    Voted for by grant.
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  • is it about power?

    I often wonder if it is about power in a relationship...or is that an unhealthy one?

    Voted for by petladylee.
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