There are 2 choices, 5 votes for jaychabria's debate

Am I in love with the person or the way they make me feel or maybe both. Is there a difference?

I am mostly a loner and slightly depressed with my life.(because of the many problems in my life i chose to become a loner as it was easier).After that it became difficult for me to meet people or converse with them, I began to feel like I was no longer alive and that I was a nobody. For the past few years however I have become tired of living my life all alone, no close friends or love. I had become lonely, until recently I met someone who gave me lots of attention (maybe because that person was in a new working place and had lots of free time) and made me feel important. It really felt that the person like me, by the way they acted, such as the prollonged accidental touch (I am in uncharted waters here, I can't tell the difference between friendly or other touches and emotions anymore). I felt alive once again. My other problems did not seem to matter anymore, now that I felt there was someone there for me. A few months have passed after that, and its quite clear we are not going to date each other, and maybe not be friends except for in the work place. But when I'm around that person and I do get some attention it make me feel better, although it does hurt that the person is no longer in my life.

The person is not bad to look at, but on normal circumstances i would not have approached that person in a dating point of view, maybe just as a friend until I got to know the person better. There was no physical attraction at first. I can't stop thinking about the person anymore.I feel like I am returning to my loner day. Sometimes I feel like just going out with the first person that will have me just so that I don't feel lonely anymore.

Am I in love with the person or the way they make me feel or maybe both. Is there a difference??


  • Possible

    It's possible you fell in love with them. Depends on how close you guys actually got.

    Whether you did or didn't isn't extremely relevent however, cause either way the cause of your feelings are likely because of how you felt about her. This often means the same thing. You love people because of how they make you feel and what they do for you. But if, as you say, you interact with very few people, ANYONE that is just affectionate and nice enough could have made you feel identical. You should just try going out more and meeting more people, whther you were in love with her or not.

    "It really felt that the person like me, by the way they acted, such as the prollonged accidental touch (I am in uncharted waters here, I can't tell the difference between friendly or other touches and emotions anymore"

    It rarely gets easier. Some people will make it VERY obvious they are flirting, but there's a decent amount of friendly-affectionate people (especially girls) that don't think twice about doing as such. Flirting back and not waiting so long to at least HINT at your intentions are the best way to find out for sure.

    80%  Voted for by Weydon, Applehead, bob2314, Fallnangel.
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  • Could Be Both

    I know what you're going through. Maybe not on a personal level, but I've been there in my own life. I have two relationships that way. Back in high school, I was moving into a new state, new school and this guy would flirt with me for a while. It seemed like we'd be a couple, but then he got shipped to Michigan. When he came back, I thought it would be the same. Or maybe I hoped, but you know what I mean. Thing is, it wasn't. We were still friends, but the spark we had shared just a few months before .. it was there for me. Maybe I was just too intense. It happens. But I think back then, I just wanted the way he made me feel. Cuz even though we never did get together, he'd always make time to talk to me, give me hugs, etc., etc.

    The second time is actually happening right now. The guy I told you about just earlier, he hurt me. Terribly. I told myself that I wouldn't put myself out there again, not to get hurt. It was safer that way. This new guy, I met at work. We shared an interest in music, he had an interest in me. Voila, I have a boyfriend for the first time in my life. He helped me through a bad time in my life. And myself, I'm beginning to wonder now that after 14 months and a child together that I just love him for what he makes me feel.

    Oh there's a difference. There's just a fuzzy line between the two. It's hard, really hard to decipher it. But I agree with the "Possibly" comment. Flirt back. Let him know. Tell him what you want and find out what he wants. Good luck. ^_^. Hearts break. Time heals.

    Voted for by XxRaDiAnTtRaGeDyXx.
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