There are 5 choices, 11 votes for deathofsunrise's debate

Is love a feeling for another, or an enjoyment of how another makes you feel?

Many people in this day and age claim to "love" somebody else. My question is to whether romantic love for another person is possible, and if so, is it a way you feel about the person, or the way you feel about the way they make you feel?

• Hopefully Both

  Love and relationship in my eyes should be about partnership. The love a couple share should be both given and received.

  27%  Voted for by Applehead, Weydon, pnktrky.

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  • 
    pnktrky
    October 27, 2006
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    real love

    "real love is not i love you or you love me, it is i love you AND you love me." that is my senior quote
  • 
    TeChNoWC
    October 31, 2006
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    real love? I love someone. To know whether or not they love me is irrelevent, I will love them anyway. Even when I'm pissed off I'm trying my hardest to what is best for her. That's just how I feel, I guess. I am no expert on the matter, this is just a mere observation of my experience. Would you posit this as fake love? I've had the full spectrum. Failing love. Infatuation. Lust. Limerence. It aint pretty, and the next may not be perfect either, but its a change.
  • 
    Applehead
    October 31, 2006
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    "I love someone. To know whether or not they love me is irrelevent, I will love them anyway. Even when I’m pissed off I’m trying my hardest to what is best for her." Beautiful you are reminding me why I used to read sloppy books. "Would you posit this as fake love?" No, but I took the above post to be about a relationship that two people are already in. Maybe this was narrow minded of me because I am married. "It aint pretty, and the next aint perfect either, but its a change." Not sure I understand this?
  • 
    TeChNoWC
    October 31, 2006
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    All of those things I listed, they certainly aren't at the top of my list for 'best experiences.' As for love (the little I 'know' of it; the little I have tasted of it) seems as though it may be just that, just a morsel; but it seems better than all that other junk. Sex, lust, don't need, don't even feel it for her. Dunno why, its just the way it is I guess.
  • 
    Applehead
    October 31, 2006
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    Nothing wrong with that. "Love is patient; love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres." —1 Corinthians 13:4–7 (NIV) Some of this Bible stuff is excellent!
  • 
    TeChNoWC
    October 31, 2006
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    Yeah, I 'love' that verse. I had to read it at my Uncle's wedding but what a great choice.
  • 
    Applehead
    October 31, 2006
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    Wow, nice one Tech.
  • 
    Weydon
    October 31, 2006
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    Someone who doesn't respect and love you back is not worthy of love. Even dogs and babies are affectionate, appreciative, and are excited at your presence. I'm not saying you should always give up. If someone you love is unappreciative and gets in trouble, it would usually be best if you help them. But don't be a sucker, no one deserves to be used.
  • • 
      Applehead
      November 1, 2006
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      Yeah thats true.
  • 
    TeChNoWC
    November 1, 2006
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    *"Someone who doesn’t respect and love you back is not worthy of love. Even dogs and babies are affectionate, appreciative, and are excited at your presence. I’m not saying you should always give up. If someone you love is unappreciative and gets in trouble, it would usually be best if you help them. But don’t be a sucker, no one deserves to be used."* Thanks for taking the time to give advice, and I realise that this is an open forum, but I don't want it, to be honest. I never said the person didn't love me in return either, I just said it is irrelevent. To love someone doesn't have to be a vulnerability, nor does it have to be a desire for them to reciprocate. I've been working at this for a long time and all that crap is 'finalised'. When I say I love them, it doesn't mean that I want them to drool all over me and think I am the center of their world and want them to make me king tut. Maybe that's reserved for another kind of love, but just not this one. I just love her, that's it. No biggy. I don't want to make a big deal about it and make her the center of my world, but her well-being does sometimes guide my actions. There is no harm, so far. If she was an evil, deceptive, conniving woman, yeah that would be different she would tear me to shreds inside - but she's not, and if ever I found she were, I wouldn't love her (and I don't mean because she may chuck a hissy fit or say 'I hate you' in anger or something, it would have to be something far more 'axiomatic'). Having a close relationship doesn't mean that the bad things have to hurt you. You just have your eyes opened to them. I only hope that stuff ups don't come her way too often, but I know they will happen. But that doesn't change anything, and neither does how she feels about me, even during the stuff ups. If she uses me a bit? I'll get over it. I'm happy to have helped. If she uses me heaps? I'll back off, because the relationship won't being doing us both any good, but I will still love her.
  • • 
      Applehead
      November 1, 2006
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      Well I just hope she knows how lucky she is, you are so sweet :)
  • 
    Weydon
    November 1, 2006
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    I misread what you meant by "irrelevent". As it turns out, you seem to be saying you are not doing it for something in return, while I read it as "Yeah, so maybe I'm not getting anything in return but I love her!". It's true, you shouldn't be doing things in hopes for some reutrned feelings or something. But, somehow, you also shouldn't continue doing things if you get nothing in return. There's a fine yet obvious line between devotion and doormat.
  • 
    TeChNoWC
    November 4, 2006
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    *"It’s true, you shouldn’t be doing things in hopes for some reutrned feelings or something. But, somehow, you also shouldn’t continue doing things if you get nothing in return. There’s a fine yet obvious line between devotion and doormat."* The relationship (and what it entails), by my part, is guided solely on what will be best for her (as a whole). If me getting nothing in return results in me getting hurt and then that in turn results in her getting nothing from me or even getting hurt by me when I explode in her face, then I will try and end all closeness between us. But as long as she finds any sort of comfort, or even help from my accompanyment, as long as the positive outweighs the negative from what I can see; then this is my reward and fulfillment from the relationship paid up front, and that aint no doormat. If I was out for myself, then I would be the doormat, by clinging on to her like a tick trying to suck as much 'what I want for solely personal benefit' as I could, regardless of what it did to her.

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