My goodness so many questions. But very good ones at that. What do we owe our friends? What do they owe to us? To be honest, it's very different for each person. I don't think you necessarily need to examine it in a way to what is owed to one another. To me, a friend is someone I laugh with, can cheer me up when I'm down, and knows me inside out making us really more like family than just acquaintances. Do I expect anything out of them? We all as humans have our limits and things we like and don't like. As far as what friends tell you or what you tell them, someone who is close should hold no fear to be true to them and honest to a point that causes them no intentional extra harm (as in, say your friend is pursuing someone who isn't treating them nicely or returning equal feelings, then you should speak up how you feel...wouldn't you want them to tell you what's up, or to snap out of it if you were in the same predicament) There are always limits to things as well. Like, it wouldn't be okay to say this to your friend if you were interested in the person they were pursuing. (huge no no!) Is it ever okay to date the person a friend dated previously? Oy, that is quite a dilemma in itself. But it happens, it depends on the circumstances, how deep the relationship got, things like that.

If one friend hated someone else, that delves into more of a realm of going with the flow, or being pressured into hating that said person because your friend does. I would certainly say that the length of the friendship doesn't always play a role, sometimes new friendships seem so fragile a person is willing to do anything to gain their continued interest. Is it okay? I would never ask my friend to hate someone I disliked, even as tempting as it may be in our human natures to say otherwise...however, there is something to be said that if the person did something horrible to you, then the friend wouldn't associate with that person, or at least not around you of course But it never would be a fair thing to outright say, don't be friends with them, because then it more seems to revert back to a high school type issue more than anything. For example, my boyfriend's sister turned out to be a horrible evil witch. (laughs) okay so that's just how I see it, but..I never told my boyfriend no you can't speak to her or do things with her. There's a matter of will involved in seeing someone interact with someone you do not like, and it is within a range of maturity to learn that there will always be people you dislike, and sometimes you have to learn to be neutral or not allot the person to upset you all the time. Eventually people like that have a way of making the same mistakes, because later on, she did something really mean spirited to him, and so he found his own reasons to not want to be around her. In the end, not all people someone dislikes is an all around bad person, but this is just an example of a good outcome by NOT telling the person to avoid them outright.
But I digress, That's why all friends are so different...each one is your friend for similar and different reasons, just like you are a friend to them for whatever encompassing reasons they feel. We each give and take, and when there is a balance yes it's wonderful, but sometimes one might need more than the other, and it's under the premise that hey, if I was in that situation you would have done the same thing idea that most of us prevail in sacrificing our time, money, or resources to help a friend out. That might seem to be an expectation of a friend, but it's more like it's the thought that counts. Additionally, one friend might get you out of your shell while another helps keep you focused...very general I know, but just bear with me. Again, I really think it's best to focus on enjoying the friendship because many come and many go, and it's best to always keep open communications rather than be afraid to ask or do something. When should you tell someone that something their doing is bad for them? WHENEVER hehe! Well, what I mean is, as a friend, I tend to think of things in terms of, "If I was in this situation..." So, if I was going after a guy that totally wasn't into me, but I was kind of blind in the whole love/crush thing, I would definitely want someone to clue me in, ring a bell, snap me out of it. Sometimes it's not the most fun thing to be the "bearer of bad news" but it takes a strong friend who decides to say what they feel is true than to hide it beneath the premise that "they won't like to hear this". I've several times had an amusing but frustrating duel of words with a stubborn friend of mine (I say this lovingly - see even here our limits between our friendship allow us to banter at each other in that way) where if he feels strongly about something, and I feel strongly about something, we agree to disagree, or tire ourselves out whichever happens first. Another idea with friendship I had is, what does one consider a healthy relationship with a friend? Is fighting a bad thing, should friends never fight, hence "friend" or...so you see, even with me attempting to answer that, I think that being able to overcome situations can make a friendship even closer, although again with limitations, sometimes people go too far (and that goes into all sorts of areas) There is a different code of how one might act around one person, and entirely different one around another. Often times, people might mention that this person "didn't seem like themselves" etc... because they are used to encountering a different side of their friend. Anyway I'm sorry for the long ramble, this topic got me thinking really hard about friendships too. I saw that you also mentioned in a comment that it was stemming a bit from thoughts but also betrayal in friends. I think it's fair to say everyone has felt that unbearable sting of betrayal at some point. I know from my own experiences, it is that exact thing that makes you question a friendship. Sometimes this leads to a good thing, in the end, it might have been miscommunication, it might have been jealousy, whatever underlying reason it was, it brings it to the front. Some work through it and others do not. Sometimes it is better not to be friends with someone like that...because in this world, there are people who only seek to gain a false friendship with others in order to gain a specific thing (ie: money just for example) or other less satisfactory reasons...and that is where you must only trust one thing...your gut instinct. I hope somewhere I've said something useful to you and your thoughts.

friendship is someting that is freely given. you never owe a friend something because that is not what a friend is looking for. friendship is in of itself its own reward. so simply said. a true friend owes true friendship. and trust me when i say that the ppl that have ever truely understood this that i have met... and i have met many ppl... is only 2.

Would they be our friends if we always felt we owed them something? My friends owe ME nothing (i just enjoy them).

were only here to learn, then we die.

i think we owe are friends nothing more than respect. loyalty and our friendship in return, you are also there friend so its not like there doing you a favor! and if its your friends ex and you want to go out with the person then they should except it and do there part as a friend and be happy for you!

There are different levels of friendship, and each level has it's own rules of what is expected, and what is entitled. for example, you might not let some guy you just met borrow your car for the weekend no matter how much you like him, but a buddy you have known since childhood-no problem. i guess you should ask yourself 2 questions when you consider how far you should go with this.
1- how well do I know this person?
2- What do I know of his character?

remember' friends are people' and as such are individuals, so there are no hard and fast rules. you have to consider them one at a time, and discern for yourself the level of trust.

I've managed to answer my own question in the last year. You owe each friend, and significant other exactly what they need. To keep a friendship alive you have to give each other what the other person needs out of a friend or significant other. If you cannot provide this then the friendship is unlikely to last. If you can then the friendship will work.