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  mudgod
  February 7, 2007
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  You can be attracted to any number of people, it is acting on the attraction that determines cheating or not.
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    TeChNoWC
    February 17, 2007
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    Ehhhh Errrr

    Whoever so looks on a woman? Ring a bell?
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      mudgod
      February 17, 2007
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      You misunderstand. In the same way you can look at a painting you can look at a person and know if they are good looking or not. You have undermined the intent of the scripture by not finishing it.
      
      Mat 5:28 But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.
      
      The question is the intent to lust, otherwise you would be better off blind.
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  TeChNoWC
  February 17, 2007
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  Good looking and a good root are entirely different things. Guys are good looking, trees are good looking, flowers are good looking.
  
  I know that you speak of simple admiration of beauty, and yes that seems fine. Your initial comment left a lot to be desired, though. It seemed as if you were allowing one to remain with introspective lustful thoughts for others with no worries. This is wrong, and you seemed to be promoting the same intention (looking to lust) that Jesus denied us.

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  Weydon
  May 14, 2007
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  I see daydreaming occasionally about a romp with someone else even though you're in a relationship as dangerous as imagining you're a movie star or a superhero every now and again. If you're daydreaming about the SAME person who you COULD get with, it's not going to be constructive to a time coming when you'll have to be strong and turn them down.
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  M.Ridgway
  May 15, 2007
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  I say if your love of you partner is weak enough that a mere physical lust is likely to destroy your relationship then it wasnt worth it to start with now was it?
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  Weydon
  May 15, 2007
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  Interesting and I'd say I MOSTLY agree. Only thing is the concept of "worth it". Perhaps your love was ONCE strong and would never even be dented by a little lusty thought or temptation. But due to unforseen changes in people, and situations that arose--the love is no longer there. It's technically NO LONGER "worth it". But it was likely worth starting, and possibly worth trying to fix still. Get back what was one great, if possible.
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  Applehead
  May 15, 2007
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  Love means not feeling or even wanting to feel that way about another person. If you do lust after someone else then where is the respect and lovefor your partner? If you are looking and feeling that way about someone other than your partner then maybe you should not be with them anymore.
  
  Weydon I agree that people change and temptation may occur but allowing your mind to encourage thoughts like this is not going to help matters.
  I also agree if the relationship is dead end it, but if its fixable control your thoughts.
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  Weydon
  May 15, 2007
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  That's not what love means to me. That's what imaginary world of fluffy candy means to me. Love is not caring how sexy and enticing people are--you stay loyal anyways because you love the person you're with.
  
  Lust and attraction is natural. I'd drive myself crazy if I didn't let my eyes wander or return a friendly smile to the cute cashier while feeling good about myself.
  
  Sure, if I see some guy flirting with my girl, I'll go over with a big smile and introduce myself as her boyfriend. And I'd expect her to do the same. But it's mostly in good fun, and partially that I don't want to SEE it. But I don't care how much a girl I'm with flirts or checks out guys or perks up when Brad Pitt takes his shirt off. I trust her in spite of the fact we're human beings.
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  Applehead
  May 16, 2007
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  "That's not what love means to me. That's what imaginary world of fluffy candy means to me."
  
  I wonder, are you the loyal type? And your personal world is what you make it. If yor a liar you live by lies and usually associate with other liars and are associated with bull. If you are aggresive you attract more aggression. If you look for and live in a world of respect you will get it. Now i know your probs going to say we dont live in a perfect world your always going to be disrespected by someone and this is true. BUT, you can limit what goes on in your world by your own behaviour.
  
  "Love is not caring how sexy and enticing people are--you stay loyal anyways because you love the person you're with."
  
  Did I say otherwise if so please show me.
  
  "Lust and attraction is natural. I'd drive myself crazy if I didn't let my eyes wander or return a friendly smile to the cute cashier while feeling good about myself."
  
  You have answered this for me put ill point it out. Your own insecurities and need for recognition from the opposite sex mean you require flirtatious encounters even if they are as simple as a small flirty smile. If your relationship was real Love you would be secure in that and not need or WANT attention from elsewhere.
  
  I agree trust is a good thing.
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  Weydon
  May 16, 2007
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  "I wonder, are you the loyal type?"
  
  I suppose it depends on what you mean. I am fiercely loyal to the ones I love--to the point of overprotection generally. When in a relationship I NEVER cheat. It's not even an option really. I've been "tested" and a part of me was annoyed that opportunities had to come up while I was in a relationship, but it's just not something I'd do. Cheating on either end would be a deal-breaker for me. Some people can recover from that, but not me. The trust would be gone.
  
  On the other hand, if by "loyal type" you mean someone that seeks out deeply committed relationships, then I'm not really. I love being single. I don't get around like some wild swinging bachelor--though I do pretty alright if I say so myself. But on the whole I just enjoy the lack of confinement even on a non-sexual level. I like doing whatever I want to when I want to, as well as enjoying a casual hook-up if it arises. Every now and again some cootie-monster girl drives me wild and I "sacrifice" my single-life-freedom to be committed to her. Really I feel the love is more genuine that way. It's something you would have preferred to do without--but you just can't.
  
  "BUT, you can limit what goes on in your world by your own behaviour."
  
  Agreed. Though I spell it behavior myself, you crazy Brit.
  
  "Did I say otherwise if so please show me."
  
  --"Love means not feeling or even wanting to feel that way about another person. "
  
  "Your own insecurities and need for recognition from the opposite sex mean you require flirtatious encounters even if they are as simple as a small flirty smile."
  
  I suppose that's why. I think it's more self-flattering to describe it as enjoying being reminded that "I still got it", but obviously feeling good about that means there is a part of me that would worry I lost it.
  
  "If your relationship was real Love you would be secure in that and not need or WANT attention from elsewhere"
  
  I disagree. I know full well that I loved those girls deeply--still do in certain regards. I don't see my abundant self-confidence/insecurities enjoying being found desirable by others as something that discredits every other part of our devotion, depth, dependence, and good times. And if it does, and what I have is something called "smlove", which is identical to "real Love" in every way but the parties involved understand the attraction and mild flirtations with others than I proudly say I was "in smlove" instead. We were very secure with one another, there was no reason to be threatened or heartbroken to find out she has the hots for Matt Damon.
  
  There are "swinging" couples that last quite a long time--as far as I can tell just as long as any average "normal" couple. They share their partners sexually and sometimes do some weird group action. But they spend their lives and make LOVE to just one person. Personally it's something I couldn't do. As I said, I don't like SEEING some guy trying to hit on my girl--let alone sleep with her. To me, once the commitment has been made certain things are exclusive. Which, to me, include kissing, all forms of sex, heavy flirtation, and 99% of cuddling (I suppose I would understand a "brother-type" she's known for years occasionally being leaned on and all). But I do not discredit a swinging couple's love for one another.

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