1. Don't stonewall (ignore what a partner is saying).
2. Don't minimize a spouse's concerns: "What's the big deal?" "You're always so sensitive!"
3. Don't rush to fix the problem: "Well, if I were you I'd..." or "You should have..." Many people mistakenly believe that downplaying worries or offering advice is helpful. In fact, pat reassurances often magnify negative feelings, since they force a person to try even harder to feel acknowledged. Women especially resent a partner's interruption with solutions, preferring instead to simply vent and know that someone is really listening.
Empathy Dos
1. Do pay attention. Set aside the newspaper or catalog and turn off the TV when your partner is talking. An occasional uh-huh or nod of the head indicates you haven't zoned out.
2. Do validate feelings. "He gave that special assignment to the new recruit? I can see why you're annoyed."
3. Do ask questions with genuine interest. Make sure your partner knows you heard what he or she has said. "So how did you respond to him?"
4. Do respond with affection, understanding, and support: "I'm really sorry you have to put up with that." "Oh, sweetheart, that could happen to anyone. Don't be so hard on yourself."
5. Do show support. Take your spouse's side. "I think your boss went a little overboard, too," is appropriate. "Well, you shouldn't have been late in the first place" isn't.
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LOLI do all of those things, the Dos and Don'ts, in relationships. Of course, I'm not married...Voted for by Weydon.
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i do allbut what can you do against a plain out lie that you have cheated on her while she was pregnant and she believes it. what sucks from it all is that the ppl that suffer the most will be her and our daughter over something that never happened. sometimes i think its true that bad stuff always happens to good ppl. not that it doesnt happen to bad ppl but that the better the person is the more life seems to try to stop you from being that better person.Voted for by pnktrky.
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I bet you are male and sit down to peeso that your wife would always get the comfort of the seat down when she goes to the toilet.Voted for by Brew Kline.
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