You were already being "selfish". You were doing all these things--putting other people first and all that--in the hopes that you would gain points in their book. You weren't doing it so they could have better lives, you were doing it so they would like you.

That said, EVERYONE is selfish. I can honestly say there are people in my life where even if they don't like what I'm doing for them, I'll still do it because it's best for them. This doesn't make me a great, unselfish person (and if it did, I do plenty of other bad things to unbalance that). There safety--physical, emotional, whatever--is in my own self-interest. It would hurt me to see them in danger, so I selfishly protect them so I don't have to go through that.

Selfishness, in itself, is not an indication of how "good" you are. It's what you do with that selfishness.


On "not needing" family and friends:

I guess we don't really. I don't seek out new friendships with people, I just (selfishly) go out and have a good time. The people I have a better time with and respect more, I hang out with more and more. Friendships forms. I selfishly want to see them and would be hurt without them.

Blood-relation alone is technically not enough to create an instant bond. It does, for me at least, sort of imply that I should try and pursue one. But what really keeps me connected to my relatives is the immense amount of time and memories--even the bad ones. I MISS being 12 years old and bored out of my mind on a car trip with my little siblings next to me saying nothing but still getting on my nerves somehow. I miss finding my little brother impossibly annoying and wrestling with him and getting in trouble for doing it. I miss being disciplined more sternly because I'm "older than them". Annoying, unfair memories--once passed--are simply funny anecdotes that you'll feel embarassed for overreacting about.


On loving someone who doesn't love you back:

Welcome to the majority of the world lol It's annoying, but it gets easier. Anyone that's over 16 years old and tells you that they've never had heartache over an issue like that is either a liar or someone that won like a lame version of the lottery. You'll get over this, and it will make you a bit more wiser and experienced. It's fairly complicated and the methods you should take vary from case to case--but 90% of the time the best advice is to feel bad and then try to move on. And if you can't move on while still staying friends--try and stay away from them for a little while until you move on. There's a world out there to enjoy.

On your selfish conversion:

Yeah, what everyone else said about "Hey now! That's not nice" is fairly right. It's kinda rude, not likable, and uninspiring to shut out the world. That said, I'm fairly hedonistic myself. There's nothing wrong with concentrating on YOU. Do what you enjoy, and what makes you happy. Jog, climb trees, drink, dance, read, party, go to the movies. Have a good time. But it wouldn't hurt to be an easygoing person, kind to the people you pass by along the way and hang out with. Don't EXPECT anything in return, but don't let people walk all over you either. And don't neglect all your responsibilities either--otherwise you won't have any resources to enjoy stuff.

Have fun with life, and don't be a jerkoff

We're all going to end up alone in the ultimate end. Take that as truth, even if you do believe in a life beyond. That's the only way any of this is going to make sense.
Why do we bother making attachments when conclusively we are all we have. Ourselves. Must not we rely on ourselves when it comes down to the core of everything? If we have a problem, are we not the one who has the responsibility laid on their shoulders? If we don't like something about ourselves, we are the only one who has the power to do anything about it.
Yes, so why do we bother with things such as friends or family? All they do is cause worry and distractions from more pressing matters.
I think I love someone but then I'm forced to constantly settle for being second-best. I'm always plan B. I've never loved, and if this is love, then it is the first time I've ever loved someone. Is it wrong that I feel under-appreciated because they don't return the feelings as strongly? They treat me like a pet. There when they need me. I'm beginning to wonder if they return the feelings at all. I just feel used and invisible half of the time. It would be better if I never formed the attachment in the first place. I wouldn't have to worry about any of this.
I keep trying to do things to change myself. Pray and beg to higher powers to let me wake up as someone else. I go through numerous processes to make holy water and bless myself or make or get a charm that is supposed to protect me from being the imperfect thing that I am. I tell myself "He'll be dissapointed in me if I do this or if I don't do that." or I pretend that someone I admire or revere is with me at all times so I don't make mistakes. None of that has worked and I think that I have finally come to the root of the matter. No one else can do this for me. And we're back to the truth of "we are all that we have."
I should also quit trying to seek approval from others. I try to be someone that others will like; but it's always my friends who have lovers. It's always my friends who have admirers. Never me, jealousy is bad, but so is lying to oneself. I'm about to give up on trying to please others and just do things for me. Selfish yes; but I'm pretty lacking in good qualities one would expect to find in a human.
I don't feel guilt usually. I find it hard to sympathize with others. I can't apologize if I don't mean it; yet I find no trouble in lying to those I don't care about. Selfishness would only be a minor blemish on me.
Well, there is my bit of philosophical thinking for the day.

One day all human life will end. Everything that surrounds you now will degrade and decay. Buildings wil crumble, metals will rust. Nothings permanent. Yet we still bother to live, even though in the end, life must cease. Whilst we must prepare for the future, it's only once tomorrow becomes today that we can appreciate it, and currently we're experiencing yesterdays tommorow. Therefore we must form relationships today, and keep our fingers crossed that they'll last till tommorow

Our mind is not an individual unit, so if we are to 'die alone' that is to say that who we are, breaks apart, and we nolonger are.

I'll be verbally crucified the moment I say this, but think about it for a moment. Service towards all humanity. Unconditional, unrewarded, unthanked service toward everyone you meet. If we strive to serve one another, love and trust have room to build. A man can only punch someone who's just smiling at them and "turning the other cheek" so to speak before he just caves and can't bear to hit him anymore. Take it from the Jesus Christ/Ghandi/Martin Luther King, Jr. philosophy. Non-violence and selflessness are ultimately more beneficial for you and for everyone around you than violence and selfishness.

I believe that 99 percent of the world's suffering is because humans crave Love. They need it, desperately cling to as much of it as they can, and they will go so far as to fight for it. People become so desperate and so deprived of love that they're willing to settle for substitutes, such as sex, money, gambling, their career, whatever they can do to get even some temporary substitute Love to keep them going. But Love is Love and there can be no substitute, not one. The only way to gain love is to give it, and I don't care if I get a million snide comments in reply. The only way to get it is to give it.

"I have found a paradox that if you love until it hurts, you will only find more love."
-Mother Theresa

Serve everyone, but do not compromise your beliefs or opinions. Be the first to say "hello!", the first to say "thank you!", do what your heart says to do. Human beings are inherently good, and what they really want is Love. To give love is to gain love. Not necessarily instantly, but if you love someone long enough, eventually, even the coldest, hardest heart can crack out of its shell. Completion of the human spirit is found in the unconditional love of humanity.

should i take a shower im o nly going to get dirty again. why eat im only going to get hungry again. why live if im only going to die at the end... stop makeing excuses and start living.