There is one choice, 2 votes for InhisImage's debate

Suicide Death

• I can't stop blamming myself

  My best friend CJ dies from killing himself with a gun to his chin on feb. 28, 2006. To this day I still blame myself for his loss. He was my best friend ever. We even dated for a year. I saw the cuts on his arms, I knew the struggles he faced, and I knew he was suicidal. I can't stop thinking that his death is particially my fault. Because to me it is my fault. I just wish for a moment I could go back in time and encourage him and tell him i will always love him. He is everything to me. i miss him so much. It's my fault he committed suicide. I will never forgive myself. Is that so bad that I do blame myself?

  100%  Voted for by InhisImage, chuchu11384.

  View 4 comments Hide Comments

  Please login or register to comment.

  Registration is required because of issues with spam. It is fast and free! This author would LOVE to get a comment from you, please join!

  • right now

    Adding your comment:
  • 
    Weydon
    December 12, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    It's not your fault, and you shouldn't blame yourself.
    
    Having said that, I will never stop blaming myself for the number of bad things that happened to my loved ones that I could have prevented better.
    
    Our ways of thinking on these matters aren't very healthy for a person, emotionally or even physically. All I can do for the most part is constantly promise myself I won't let it happen again to anyone else. I will never let anyone else down. Sometimes I feel this is a good thing, as I feel I am really connecting with people and helping them. But when another failure happens, it's extremely devastating.
    
    Maybe someone else has alternative, more constructive advice for you. For what it's worth, I sincerely believe you are not at fault for this. I will pray for you, and I hope at the very least your friend has found some peace to the internal problems he could not handle.
  • 
    bob2314
    December 12, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    God grant me the courage to change the things I can.
    
    The faith to accept the things i can't and the wisdom to know the difference.
    
    Don't try to hold yourself responsible for other peoples choices. all you can do is hope you brought joy to the time you had together.
  • NeferMaatNetjer
    January 5
    Edit | Reply

    blaming yourself is common

    ... but that does not make it right. all survivors of suicides wish they had done more, but how could you have? You did your best to let him know he was loved and wanted, but he clearly had demons that were beyond what a kind word or firm hug could dispel. if he tried more than once to kill himself, he needed professional help, beyond what a friend could give.
    
    it's allright to grieve, but don't let it turn into your own destruction. enough people have already died. it wasn't you who made him do it
  • timmy the tooth
    January 8
    Edit | Reply
    wow you cant blame yourself if you do all it will do is take you down the same path i had a friend that died but he didnt kill himself i still blamed myself for a vary long time if fact i dont think i ever realy got over it now ive attempted to die by my own accord three times from the guilt dont hold onto it just understand you couldent have done anything about it keep your head up you can talk to me on all poety anytime you want

  Please register or login to comment! It's totally free
• right now

  Adding your reply:
• Your Comment: