There are 5 choices, 8 votes for night sky mystery's debate

how can you make painful/unwanted memories fade or even disappear?

  • this topic struck a nerve
    The main dilemma with any painful/weighing memory is our subconscious wants to find a rational for its existence. Everything is incorporated into a conceptual grand design, so something seemingly without place (something which pains us) leaves this shifting anomalous puzzle piece which can never be satisfied. Such as rape, or self-hatred, or a lost life-partner.

    Our subconscious associates every one of our experiences under an accumulatively constructed identity. When some radical event takes place, it can sometimes shake the structural integrity of our identity. And despite how much we may try to assure ourselves that it the event was random, out of our control, and inconsequential; if we do not acknowledge its happening, it will find other forms of manifestation; distrust, role-confusion, sexual conquest (in the case of sexual abuse), alcoholism, over-eating, anorexia... a great number of quirky personality complexes that never seem to go away.

    Underneath our conscious mind we try to justify this disturbing event as a normality, to coincide with the idea that we are not the product of defection.

    We at some point will likely feel that we are to blame (because we still want to believe we have power over our environment)

    if we acknowledge that we are not to blame, we are declaring impotence (powerlessness) and likely will superimpose this trend unto other scenarios (depression)

    Ultimately, change will happen; ultimately, this pain we feel is the transitions between solid identities; And ultimately, without facing our pain and forcing it to change into something useful, it will continue to wear us down.

    On a personal note, this is why I sought out to find this site. I was rejected for a job as a counselor by a religious camp I had gone to since I was eight. I had fulfilled every requirement; the kids loved me, the administrators had faith in my ability. Everything was perfectly set up, but because I was open about my differing belief about God, to someone i thought was a friend, I was rejected for the job. I came back as a counselor-in-training (for the second time), and found out just how corrupt and horridly conservative some of the administrative members were. They justified every power trip they went on through their religious beliefs (including harassing and belittling kids).

    I was so intellectually aggravated, and felt so betrayed, I went through a stage where I held a full blown contempt towards anyone who felt they were doing the right thing because 'their religion said so'. So for me, I chose to face what caused my pain, to turn against it (generate a countering hate) and immersed myself into arguments and intellectual combat. Over all, I wash away that bad experience with a plethora of new experiences based on an even battle-ground. I fought for what I thought and made a point to be heedless and ruthlessly raw to what I believed, to what I 'knew'. And in full honestly, this site has helped overcome that negativity, I no longer hold anything against well-hearted Christians.

    The only notable point of interest I can say is that, every individuals mind is actually composed of a system of interacting cognitive components, when there is contradiction in the system, one may be left with hesitation/emptiness (a lack of harmonious direction). The sense of singularity is a trick of perception, and bad memories and pain is the chaos that drives this deception apart. So I would suggest openly declaring who you are, what you stand for, and allow yourself to actually believe this unquestioningly (and the sense of strength and self-unity will follow)

    I'm sorry if this is a titch lengthy, but wow, good topic.
    50%  Voted for by Molzahn, Hardhittn63, TeChNoWC, pnktrky.
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  • Faith
    Faith that things can get better, and sticking to it yourself. Trying to adhere to the things you think will make the world a better place, even when it's hard. Faith in the good things in this world. Otherwise drinking
    Voted for by Weydon.
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  • ....
    Yes, I believe that time is able to heal almost everything, but the ones that escape into the corners of our mind.
    In my opinion, one way to help the healing process is for complete acceptance of how things are. You accept, and forgive, but never forget. Also things depend on many factors to how strong one's resilience is. Some are able to cope with things healthier or better than other people. Some not so.
    Just remember that you make your own happiness. Don't let life bring you down, at least not for too long. It's okay to be down sometimes.
    Voted for by Lost to Apathy.
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  • how to help unwanted memeries fade?
    well in my life so far i have been through quite a bit of bad painful memories.such as death in family,cousins drug abuse,rape being the most painfulliest for me,bullied,ect ect, but what i want to know is how do people make painfull memories fade?, i know people say time is a great healer, and in some cases yes it is,but others its simplly not te case.
    so i would like some peoples ideas/help/suggestions on this.
    Voted for by night sky mystery.
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  • I do not know
    I can not miss lead. I do not Know


    Mark
    Voted for by cadmelicser.
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