There are 12 choices, 29 votes for exquisite mind's debate

Virgin Until Marriage?

it seems that many people have abandoned the idea of abstinence until marriage.. Do people still encourage their kids to remain pure until marriage? Has this notion been neglected by our society? if so, why? And do you think it would be better, in this day and time, to preach about sexual protection (such as condoms, birth control, etc) or abstinence?


  • lots of reasons....

    First of all, I have to disagree with a previous comment. 1) The Bible does not discuss sex from a purely hygienical standpoint. 2) Marriage is not a "man-made" institution. The Bible states that your body is God's temple, and marriage is God's way of letting you have sex while keeping his temple pure. Why the hell do you think marriage traditionally takes place in a church??? Next time, before posting your b.s., try reading the document you are citing. Furthermore, I am a Christian and a virgin. Remaining a virgin until marriage is a personal choice I made for myself, just as you have made your choice, whatever that is. And whatever your choice is, I respect it, and it certainly doesn't give me any "power" over you. Not only do I not care what you do with your sex life, I don't want to KNOW. It is none of my business!!

    Which leads me into my first point. If you're having sex because all your friends are, you're having it for the wrong reasons. To me, sex is an intimate and private thing. When you have it, really no one else should be privy to that information. You should not be having sex simply for the privilege of saying, "Hey, I've had sex."

    You also don't need to have sex to have fun or to express your feelings for your partner. If your boyfriend or girlfriend thinks that you don't love them simply because you won't have sex with them, then they can't care for you very much, can they, when they're looking for a relationship based on something that even pigs can do to each other? The relationships I've been in have been by far much more fun that those of my friends who do have sex. Not only have they been more fun, but they have been stronger and lasted longer. And, guess what? None of them were ended on the basis of my virginity!

    Now, I have made the choice to remain a virgin until marriage because my virginity is a part of me that I can only give away once. As such, I want that one most secret and special part of me to be shared with only one other person in the world. It is the ultimate gift which only I can both give to and receive from my husband, and that specific sharing is what will make us most unique and special- something that ONLY WE have of each other.

    Think about it. How many 15-year-olds are "so in love" with their boyfriend or girlfriend and lose their virginity? Do you honestly think they will end up happily married? When they inevitably break up, they will have given away an irreplacable part of themselves to someone who will ultimately have no significance in their lives.

    I hope I don't offend any little 13-year-olds here who believe they are "truly in love" with their boyfriend or girlfriend, but teenagers aren't even capable of real love. "True love" is the ability to give of yourself infinitely, to the point of death. How many 13-year-olds - or even 16, 17, or 18-year olds- are capable of that? Teenagers are so self-centered that they can't even really conceive of "true love." They simply aren't capable of it. Do you honestly think that you'll have the same capacity to love when you're, say, 35, as you do now? Of course not! Your life experiences are what teach you and mature you, and even college freshmen are only beginning their life-shaping experiences!! People need to truly "grow up" before they are ready to have sex.

    Finally, there's one more issue. You must not only be able, but WILLING, to provide for the welfare of a child before you go off and have sex. THERE IS NO FOOLPROOF METHOD OF BIRTH CONTROL save abstinence. And don't you dare even think "abortion." Where the hell do you get off believing that you have the right to end someone else's life, simply because you don't want to deal with the consequences of your actions? You have the night, you reap the consequences.

    These are the reasons I am a virgin. Again, I respect the choices that everyone else has made, but I hope that people will honestly consider what I've said.

    20%  Voted for by myno, SoCiAlLy--ExCePtEd, caressed in blue, gobuggy99, looking4realtruth. (6 total)
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  • Not Abstinence but Modesty

    The problem isn't that kids have sex. It's that kids have sex too often for the wrong reasons. Giving away your virginity is now something that's expected of kids as young as twelve, at least by their peers, and only for the reason of saying they've had sex. If we could teach this generation the importance of sex and the bond it forms then we would be making progress. Abstinence until marriage is fine for those with that sort of self control, but personally I've never had it and don't know many who do. There have only been a few girls that I've really wanted to have sex with, but those that I have had sex with I never really cared about, I was just curious. Now I know that sex isn't really that great of a feeling, not really that much better than masturbating. But maybe if someone had told me what to look forward to wasn't going to be a feeling like that but an emotion, then maybe I could have abstained for a little while longer.

    13%  Voted for by redbrita, Cherub, The Jabberwock, youngbodywisemind.
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  • Genitallion philosophy

    Sex is not evil. The Genitallions (poser christians) are obsessed with what other people are doing with their penis or vagina and anus. They themselves have created genitalia issues for themselves and simply want to propagate those issues to others to give themselves more power. If it feels right from your soul to your mind to your body than do it if it feels wrong don’t, only you will know the difference for you. Follow your own heart not the genitallions interpretation of literal scripture. In case you didn’t know when the bible talks about these issues they are in the context of hygiene not sin. Sex is Gods creation marriage is a man made institution.

    10%  Voted for by Kazrith, Happy 420, ohsweetie2788.
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  • I am a virgin, But not exactly sure I want to be

    OK I am a 18 female who's a christian and also a virgin. I've always held my virginity as a very high aspect of my being. I used to say that I would be a virgin untill I was married, I am the type of person who like to enjoy life while I am here. I am still expeiriencing things as I get older. Now that I am older, sex isn't as serious to me as it used to be. I am not saying that I just want to give it away, but instead of keeping it until marriage, I just say I will wait til I find someone who I think deserves it from me. We don't have to be in love, but if I think that hes treated me accordingly and the way a woman is supposed to be treated. We may not be together for a long time, but like I said if I think he deserves it then I will give to him. I mean, I know what the bible says but this is how I feel. Am I wrong for feeling this way?

    10%  Voted for by Aylaangel, Latet Artifex, IvoryRose.
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  • Sex is Natural!

    Humans, like almost all other forms of life on this planet, are designed to have sex. We are not designed to get married. Marriage is a 100% human concept. If a person wants to wait until they get a document issued by the government to engage in fornication, good for them, but they shouldn't shove their personal beliefs down everyone else's throat, especially considering that thier thoughts are disproved by nature.

    6%  Voted for by ohsweetie2788, personnamedclay.
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  • All ways sexual protection

    I think you should always preach sexual protection even if you side with abstinence. These days you can’t not.The problem is that parent that teach their children that abstinence is prepaphable, don’t teach safe sex and if the children do decide to have sex before marrage they may not use protection.

    6%  Voted for by redbrita, impetuous princessa.
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  • how far to take virginity?

    well, its true that ur virginity is somehting u can only give away once, and that sex is an emotion and a bond that u cant just have with anyone.but then how far does this apply to any sort of physical intimacy?does this apply to kissing too?should we only kiss when we are married because it is a type of intimacy that creates an exclusive bond?or does it only apply to the genital area?if so, whats the sense in that?

    6%  Voted for by yosra, Latet Artifex.
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  • Well...

    Sex before marriage is worthless. First of all, they say that sex leads to STDs, but marriage is an exception. What are they thinking. Marriage is NOT a force, it does not protect you from STDs. Second, all marriage is, well. Is the definition of blind love. love does not equal marriage, marriage does not equal love. Thus marriage signifies that that love is blind. All marriage is, is a ceramony. Third, LOVE matters, not marraige. Religion created marriage. And religion is NOT fact nor is it an official truth.

    6%  Voted for by street-crazy, -TheLoneWolf-.
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  • virginity?

    In my opinion virginity is not something that is given away, I don't really get why people came up with it. So basicly, some people wait to have sex until marrige, they don't give anything to their spouse, they simply never have had sex before. It is pretty much the same thing as not kissing before marrige. Except sex may complecate things more. So in my opinion if you want to have sex, and thought about the consequences, no reason you shouldn't.

    6%  Voted for by CrazyRebel, Weydon.
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  • Help them out

    sex is something that teens are going to do ring on there finger or not but not all do it for the same reason i mean not a lot of parents wants their teen to have sex but most parents would want to know if their teens are having sex.All teens won't tell their parents if they know 100% they will get in trouble for it so they go and do it sometimes with protection sometimes without it all depends who the teen is and if they have the protection and how bad the want the sex. All teens try their hardest to protect them self. i believe parents should listen with out yelling and help their teen be safe from it all. the more you tell them not to the funner it is.

    Voted for by darlene.
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  • lust is NOT love

    i think it's ironic that in one breath people can go from saying that sex is a profound expression of love to saying that it's good to have experience before marriage, because you have to be sure the physical thing is there with a potential spouse...... if it really only comes down to expresing intimate love, than should physical pleasure (or lack of) matter?

    Voted for by gobuggy99.
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  • abstinence or protection?

    I believe that people should still encourage their children to practice abstinence until marriage, but it seems that many parents have given up, saying “they are going to do it anyway, so why bother.” is this the right attitude to take? And what does it say about the parents? Does this type of mentality suggest “bad parenting”? or should we not worry our heads and encourage sexual activity and protection amongst the young?

    Voted for by exquisite mind.
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