My opinion on why sex before marriage is wrong and why people should wait.
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Premarital Sex and its faults!13% Voted for by xVowsareSpoken, gracious, looking4realtruth, Jesusquest, Makessenseright. (6 total)
I believe premarital sex is wrong. I'm not in anyway saying that the people who didn't wait till after marriage are bad people, but all I'm saying is that the decision to have sex before marriage could be devestating.
Time after time I've heard people say they regret having sex that time they had it (Which was when they THOUGHT they were in "love") They cried (The girls) and they regreted it. Losing your virginity as a teen, you don't know what you're thinking.
I'm a teenager myself, and I once thought i was in love. The whole time I was in love, I believed that's what true love was, until we broke up. And when we broke up I realized that there is more to love than what we had. And I'm glad I'm waiting till marriage, because what happenes when a girl gives herself to her boyfriend, and then they end up breaking up a month or so later?
You want your wedding day to be the most meaningful. That way you'll know that the sex you'll have that night would be meaningful, and holy, not wrong and it's not a sin when you're married, because you and your husband (or wife) Have made a bond, have given your promise to God and to all the witnesses that you'll be in love and always stay married.
Most people who wait till after they're married have much more satisfying sex. Life isn't all about sex you know, and it isn't about being put under pressure to have sex with just anyone.
Divorce usually happens with people who have sex before marriage.
I want to make a contrast/compare right here:
In America, The divorce rate is increasing. And if you don't know, many of todays teens are having sex.
In the Middle East where premarital sex is forbidden for your own good, people's marriage last. (And I'm not saying all of them last, because I know a few who have gotten a divorce) But the divorce rates are so low there.
I'm not saying the only reason to have a divorce is bcause there is no more satisfaction in sex, but it's one of the reasons.
But also, and most importantly, your health is at stake.
AIDS, STD's, Pregnancy, and ABORTION(see my abortion philosophy) continue to increase in the US where people have unprotected sex.
And besides it just being wrong, if you think about most religions in the world, it is one of the major sins to have sex. So why would you want to risk going to hell for a 5 minute quicky with someone you might never see again in your life?
I am just wondering, does anyone here share my views on WAITING till after you say "I do"?
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Free Choice9% Voted for by Untouchable Blue, Weydon, nanoinfinity, Hardhittn63.
I believe that if you are ready to have sex, it's your right to. I don't think teenagers going out and having sex is a really good thing, but maturity varies. Each person is an individual and as such, must make their own choices regarding sex. I also believe that you miss out on a lot by waiting for marriage and only being with one person, but again, it's an individual decision. Even if you regret it afterwards, that's life. People can choose for themselves, that's the beauty of today's world, and why today's society keeps coming up. By waiting for marriage you are less likely to get STD's or get pregnant with someone you don't really love, but you are also throwing away your chances to get to know different people, and experience different relationships. And what if you never get married? You shouldn't deprive yourself of physical closeness just because you don't want to be married.
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As long as its real9% Voted for by Millyphilly, DryIce808, goin2hvn, gap.
God reads your heart and not your mind (thanks you jesus) and if you are in a relationship, and are truly in love with the person your with, and the feelings are all mutual, and you both love eachother verymuch, then i dont see it being an issue....Maybe 1500 years ago, but with how society is today, there is no stopping it, So you just do it to the best of your knowledge...Like i said God reads your heart, and he knows your intentions, if you plan to be withsomeone forever, god sees that lying on your heart, and if you choose to share yourself with that person... its is pure true and real, and none can tell us otherwise.... besdies only god can judge!!
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don't say premarital!9% Voted for by daisybee, Weydon, nanoinfinity, lake of whispers.
Okay well the fact that you assume the whole argument based on marriage being the ultimate goal of everybody kind of destroyed the whole thing for me. I do not believe in promiscuity -yet I don't condone it if people take care of themselves.I strongly believe that in any country premarital sex does not contribute towards divorce- the example of the Middle East? Yeh I'm sure all the women are happily married there! The fact that you keep using the word premarital really irks me- I have no plans on getting married and live with my partner-according to you I am going to burn in hell? That isn't an argument that is a condemnation.Oh and calling peoples opinions ignorant because they don't match your own is not a very respectful thing to do. Life is about choice, didn't God give us free will? Sex is an expression of love, of intimacy and obviously how we procreate- marriage is also a choice-that may not be for everyone. I don't beleive that the two are mutually exclusive.
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Is It Truely Wrong?6% Voted for by VitreousSoul, stories in the sky, nanoinfinity.
Now please, before you read this throw religious bias out the window. If you don't then please don't respond to this with, 'Because God says it's wrong'. Premarital Sex, is on a social, and moral level wrong. Now dose that mean it is wrong? No, it means that society has shunned the act, this you feel a sense of shame and guilt from the act. Thus it is perceived as a 'wrong' thing to do. Now I admit these days premarital sex has really lost it's severity. Never the less it is, as this debate shows, still a sensitive subject. Let me ask you this though, do you masturbate? Most of the population weather they can openly admit it or not do or did practice some form of self gratification either with the onset of puberty or they simply have ever sense. Now is this socially wrong? No, unless the bounds are overstepped (I.E Masturbation in public.), no one is bothered by this, most of the time no one ever knows. Yes, we can all assume everyone else is doing it, but because this act is behind close doors no one ever really thinks twice about it. Premarital sex is, in a sense, the same thing. Two people consent to copulation. They agree to self and mutual gratification. Now if no one ever talked about 'what goes on behind closed doors', then no one would ever know about teens and adults premarital sex (Excluding the random times when someone walks in on the act.). Now if the above were the case and no one talked about premarital sex in such a negative light, would it be so wrong? No, because society would accept it like most of society accepts masturbation at puberty. Now your question was 'Do you know why Premarital sex is wrong?' In response I will say, No I don't know why it is so wrong. I see nothing wrong with mutual gratification between to people if they both consent. I have a question for you though, excluding your religion for a moment step back and look at premarital sex for what it is, mutual gratification with consent. How can something that has consent be wrong?
Consent - 1) To give assent, as to the proposal of another; agree. 2) To be of the same mind or opinion. n. 3) Acceptance or approval of what is planned or done by another; acquiescence. 4) Agreement as to opinion or a course of action: 5) Example Sentence - She was chosen by common consent to speak for the group.
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X PatientGrace X Is right6% Voted for by looking4realtruth, xVowsareSpoken, Makessenseright.
Here's all the proof for X PatientGrace X's arguments:
- Long version-http://www.foreverfamilies.net/xml/articles/benefitsofchastity.aspx?&publication=full
- Short Version-http://www.foreverfamilies.net/xml/articles/benefitsofchastity.aspx
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Sex outside of marriage4% Voted for by Sankofalokumbe, lake of whispers.
I think sex outside of marriage is wrong, because when you do it, I think you are only hurting yourself. When people have sex, a spiritual connection is made between them (especially if it is your first time), and when you break up or divorce that person you have already had sex with, you are breaking a spiritual bond, and I don't think anyone wants to experience that. Many people have told me about how their whole perspective changed towards the person they first had sex with. Many people I have with spoken remember pretty much every person they have ever had sex with and I believe it is because it forms a spiritual bond between them. I believe that sex is more than just pleasure and reproduction. I think that the Bible says not to have sex outside of marriage because of this effect it has between people. Back in those days, once you were married, there was pretty much no turning back. Divorce didn't exist. Sex and commitment (and the fact you couldn't get divorced) were the things that kept couples together back then. I bet you (I may be wrong) that most people that have ever had sex outside of marriage, have also been married more than once (if they have ever been married). Everytime you have sex with another person, that spiritual bonding effect dulls more and more. I personally think that in the Bible God is warning you not to have sex outside of marriage, not threatening you. I believe it is different from other sins because when you do it, I believe you are only hurting yourself. Once you are used to havings sex with random people, it is harder to stay with one person, because everytime you have sex with a different person, you are making a bond, and everytime you break up with them, you are breaking a bond. After a while, it requires more and more commitment to stay with one person, because you are going to have differences with everyone you meet. Unlike others, I don't believe you have to stand before a priest with a Bible or say vows to be married to someone. I believe marriage is so much more than that. I don't think you have to go up to the CourtHouse and let the government know that you are married if you don't want to. But I do believe that sex outside of marriage is rather foolish. If you disagree with me, go around asking people who have had sex outside of marriage. I bet you most of the people have also been divorced (if they have ever been married).
"What is the puprose of marriage anyway?" many people have asked. Well, I think that when you are married (and like I stated earlier, I don't think you have to go through all the rituals to be married or even change your last name) you have a better opportunity of reaching love. Some people disagree and don't ever want to marry, and I can somewhat understand why. I don't think it is a sin to be single. But I do think it is rather foolish of dating if you have no plans of having a serious relationship. There is so much more to romance and love that people never discover and never will discover until they have been married for at least ten years.
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January 12, 2006
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Sex faults, logic faults?
*"Most people who wait till after they're married have much more satisfying sex. Life isn't all about sex you know."* This is most intruiging. Firstly, how on earth do you know that this first sentence is true? Unless you're a particularly fanatic voyeur, then no one has any reason to believe this. For the benifit of the doubt, I'll assume you're not a voyeur, but there leaves a problem. Where's the evidence? Or do you just assume this *might* be true? No, life isn't all about sex. But this sentence does not make pre-marital sex any better than marital sex. In fact lots of married couples are treating sex as if it is, and having lots of raucous fun, too. (and - I suppose, in a biological sense _life_ *is* _all about sex_ ... but less of this...) *"Divorce usually happens with people who have sex before marriage."* I'm sorry - what now?? _How on earth do you know this?_ I'd like to think it was, but this _can't_ be an opinion, because it is a circumstantial claim. I can only see falsehood in this statement, so convince me otherwise. "Where's the evidence?!" we all cry eagerly. *"I want to make a contrast/compare right here: In America, The divorce rate is increasing. And if you don't know, many of todays teens are having sex."* Wow. Either you've written these two claims for no reason, or you mean that the divorce rate is increasing _because_ of premarital sex. First of all, I've no reason to believe the divorce rate is increasing. From what to what? What are the firgures? Where did you get this evidence from? _Or did you just make it up??_ Secondly, you've provided *no causal connection* between statement b ) lots of premarital sex, and statement a) the rising divorce rate. You might just as well say "More people are buying cats, therefore the divorce rate is going up." More reasoning, please? *"where premarital sex is forbidden for your own good, people's marriage last"* Once again, there is no causal connection between these two facts, if facts they are (I don't think either of them are facts actually - unless you can convince me otherwise with some hard evidence and statistics) *But the divorce rates are so low there.* That's probably due to a number of reasons. Have you seen the terrible state of the Middle East, lately? I think divorce is probably the last thing on thier minds... *"But also, and most importantly, your health is at stake. AIDS, STD's, Pregnancy, and ABORTION(see my abortion philosophy) continue to increase in the US where people have unprotected sex."* Oh dear! These aren't just a consequence of pre-marital sex, honey! STDs and AIDs are not at all discriminate, whether you have a ring on your finger or not! Also, people in a married situation are quite capable of getting pregnant, too! And many choose to abort, for a variety of reasons - health, or just because of a circumstance that, with the best will in the world, could not be prevented. *"And besides it just being wrong"* Why? Who says? Is this an objective wrong, or a religious one? *"most religions in the world, it is one of the major sins to have sex"* The must have had a pretty hard time pro-creating then! *"So why would you want to risk going to hell for a 5 minute quicky with someone you might never see again in your life?"* First of all, I don't think it's fair to say that everyone who has premarital sex is going to hell. Apparently, thats only happening to the people who believe it's going to happen to them. Plus, not all pre-marital sex relationships are about five minute quickies. In fact, very few are, in my experience. Many of my friends and family have enjoyed long and happy sexually active relationships without having to marry. *"Losing your virginity as a teen, you don't know what you're thinking."* Yes, I do disagree with teens below the age of consent (thats 16 in my country) having sex. Many are not biologically and physically mature enough, not to mention emotionally. I think, though, a few years after that, and you are ready to make your own decisions. Sex is not universally necessarily, but can be, a most wonderful, confriming, and integral part of a relationship, and if used correctly (used?!) can be beneficial physically, and psychologically. One thing would worry about with regards to premarital sex is that there is an tendancy towards marrying earlier, possibly because of this belief. (if you look at the cultures which hold this belief, you see the general trend). I don't think that this means two people are necessarily ready to commit to each other, by marrying earlier, just to have "holy sex" as you say. My eldest sister has been with her partner for almost ten years, and they've just annouced their engagement! :) I can see thier relationship is going to be a happy and secure one, because of how long they have spent together confriming this. Now, without going from particular to general, and apriciating too, that other factors contribute to getting married earlier, I do think this is one problem of waiting. I've read (although I've no specific evidence for this, but it seems logical) that those who marry more quickly will endure, on balance, less happy relationships, and there might possibly be a higher divorce rate. I appriciate that you have decided to wait until you are married, and I totally respect this view. Good for you. However, you do make some out of depth claims about the quality of sex (how much have you experienced this?!) and the sex lives of others, that I am intruiged as to where you've gained your knowledge and information.Weydon
January 12, 2006
Can't say I personally agree
"Time after time I've heard people say they regret having sex that time they had it (Which was when they THOUGHT they were in "love") They cried (The girls) and they regreted it. Losing your virginity as a teen, you don't know what you're thinking." Agreed. But I've also heard the opposite. If it were so awful, why do many of these people continue on with their sex before marriage? " because what happenes when a girl gives herself to her boyfriend, and then they end up breaking up a month or so later?" Heartache. Just like when they didn't have sex. "You want your wedding day to be the most meaningful." I don't see the connection. If you've had meaningless sex, or meaningful sex with someone who meant less than your eventual spouse, what would make your wedding night less meaningful? The meaning lies not int he quantity of your sexual experiences but in the quality. And who's to say the wedding night will be MOST meaningful, and not the next night or the next or years later? To say that all sexual experiences after the wedding night will be downhill is a bit disheartening. "Most people who wait till after they're married have much more satisfying sex." I'm interested in where these statistics are coming from. I'd assume, if ANYTHING, it would be the opposite. With more experiences under your belt (not neccesarily slutty or trampy experiences) you know what you're doing, it won't be as painful, it can last longer, and you'll know ahead of time whether or not your future spouse is horrible/a freakin weirdo in the sack. Sex is an important part of marriage, and finding out when it's too late that your spouse is into doing it rough while you much prefer it slow is not going to be a magical discovery. "Divorce usually happens with people who have sex before marriage." Actually divorce just usually happens. I have never heard anything about there being a correlation with pre-marital sex and divorce, aside from perhaps how most people that practice abstinence are devout Christians and would rather be in unhappy marriages/lives than divorce. "In America, The divorce rate is increasing. And if you don't know, many of todays teens are having sex." Or...In America, the divorce rate is increasing. And if you don't know, many movies today cost hundreds of billions of dollars to make. COINCIDENCE!?!? These things ahve nothing to do with each other. As I said already, the connection between pre-marital sex and divorce is a less religious society. You can be religious, have sex with a few people, and then get happily married. Or you can be not religious, have sex with people, and then get happily married. It doesn't have any affect. "In the Middle East where premarital sex is forbidden for your own good, people's marriage last. (And I'm not saying all of them last, because I know a few who have gotten a divorce) But the divorce rates are so low there." While I respect other people's decisions within their own culture, there is reason to at least believe that many of these marriages are extremely misogynistic. "I'm not saying the only reason to have a divorce is bcause there is no more satisfaction in sex, but it's one of the reasons." So....because I'm bored in sex because of my sex life when I was younger, I'll divorce my wife in orde to....what? Live life a sex-free bachelor at long last? "AIDS, STD's, Pregnancy, and ABORTION(see my abortion philosophy) continue to increase in the US where people have unprotected sex." Who's arguing against unprotected sex? "And besides it just being wrong, " Well, obviously... "if you think about most religions in the world, it is one of the major sins to have sex. So why would you want to risk going to hell for a 5 minute quicky with someone you might never see again in your life?" I don't connect what "most" religions say with actual morality. "Most" religions also don't give women an awful lot of respect, but I feel safe in treating them as equals. I also feel secure that God probably won't send me to hell for performing an action between two consenting adults that understand what they're getting into.Xelgaroth
April 23
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To me, from a nonreligious perspective marital sex still seemed the better choice. You can disagree but there's really no way to argue; it's a difference of opinion. To me, sex in marriage is that one, special thing that you and her share together, that one, single thing that you two have together that *no one else* has with you. That one thing you can know you two have, that closeness you've never had with anyone else before. To you, Weydon, this is "inexperience" and to me it's "originality." To you it gives it less meaning, to me it gives it infinitely more. The trouble is that this is merely a matter of how you look at it; it cannot viably be argued and as such I won't present it as an argument, merely as a statement of my position and the nonreligious reasoning for it.
I have friends who don't mind the idea of pre/nonmarital sex, some who think it's okay regardless of age as long as you love each other, some who think it's okay in a committed relationship, others still who hold that as long as you love each other, and some who don't give a crap at all as long as it's non exploitive. My girlfriend, for instance, is of this latter group. She doesn't care; on the other hand, I do. I do not think that people who believe pre/non marital sex is okay are bad people, nor do I think that those who participate in it are bad people either; from a Christian perspective, it is a subject upon which good Christians can differ. One man's faith says it's okay, the other doesn't, both have faith, as such they may differ. But I still feel gravitated towards the belief that sex is given more emotional meaning when it is with that one, special person, no one else, even if the first time isn't that magical moment, eve n if it's a painful and uncomfortable experience, it still has more meaning, to me, when it's with just one person and no on else.
That's my two cents.
January 17, 2006
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Sorry, But I Disagree
Sure, you could be right. Or you could be wrong. I've had sex, and I don't regret it at all. We didn't even date, we just had sex. I still want to have sex with someone significant, but remember, sex before marriage doesn't spoil marriage at all. Marriage should be just special enough in it's own sense, not just because you're a virgin. When I get married, I'll be happy, but I won't be happy because I would have been a virgin because I didn't have sex. I'll be happy because I made a commitment to spend the rest of my life with this man or woman. Sex is natural. It happens. YOU may want people to wait, but I say if you want to, go for it. And remember, not EVERYONE gets married...or has sex with the opposite sex.February 2, 2006
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February 4, 2006
HERE'S YOUR PROOF.
- Long version-http://www.foreverfamilies.net/xml/articles/benefitsofchastity.aspx?&publication=full - Short Version-http://www.foreverfamilies.net/xml/articles/benefitsofchastity.aspxWeydon
February 15, 2006
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February 28, 2006
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Weydon
March 1, 2006
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March 2, 2006
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allright, look
Your statistics on divorce and premarital sex are very very slanted. First of all. People who wait all the way to their wedding night to have sex, are most likely driven so by very strong religious convictions, and hence, would be FAR LESS LIKELY to even BELIEVE in divorce in the first place. Your statistic proves that relationships where both people are strongly religious tend not to end in divorce. Not that premarital sex leads to such an end. As for the middle east. Women are basically property there. Divorce isn't an issue. I like the point, but you're hurting your arguments making such irrelivant comments. Also. Premarital sex is not listed in the ten commandments. Adultery is cheating on your spouse. Not having sex before marrage. Get your facts straight and I might agree with you on SOME points. But honestly, you don't HAVE to do that to end up with a happy loving relationship. Don't forget there are other teen girls that aren't crying about losing their virginity. What about them? The ones who are happy about it?March 22, 2006
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Gemini Dream
April 26, 2006
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petethemeat
May 15, 2006
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May 10
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very nice from you
especially the fact i pray that god will show you your error in not following him before you pass.. wow!are you sure you beleive in GOD..
guess you should re-read some things! very nice
what a pure soul you have.
nice day
May 10
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very nice from you
especially the fact i pray that god will show you your error in not following him before you pass.. wow!are you sure you beleive in GOD..
guess you should re-read some things! very nice
what a pure soul you have.
nice day
May 10
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very nice from you
especially the fact i pray that god will show you your error in not following him before you pass.. wow!are you sure you beleive in GOD..
guess you should re-read some things! very nice
what a pure soul you have.
nice day
June 24
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I strongly agree with petethemeat, Gemini Dream and Weydons points. They're on the spot.
What if you happened to be some of the people that DON'T get married? Does that mean you should never have sex in your life or you will go to hell? Like for example, if you were Christian and your man was atheist and you accepted him for who he is and accepted the fact that you two will not wed? Uh-oh, hell time?? Also, the faults of religion is that everyone commits "sins", whether big or small. If everyone who committed a "sin" went to "hell", no one would go to "heaven." No one is a "saint" dear.
Now, removing religion from this...just because someone has premarital sex does not mean their relationship is not serious, does not mean they will not go on to get married or anything of the sort. What is the difference between loving someone with a ring on your finger and loving someone without a ring on your finger? Is the love not the same?
TeChNoWC
July 24
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HopelessDreams
While lake of whisper's comment may have come across as very immature, they did not, at any point state that they wanted to see you or anyone go to hell. In the Bible it says that God wishes that none should perish, but have eternal life. So praying for someone to go to hell is not God's will, and is not a truly Christian thing to do.By saying that they hope God shows you in error, rather than give you a kick up the backside or what not, the person is indicating that they CARE for the person if anything, and want to see them NOT go to hell. The frustration that people simply don't care and misconstrue the Word of God is probably the vexation that made the poster come across aggravated.
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