People my age tend to dress in tight clothes and say that they are Emo. These tight clothes and died hair are supposed to show that they are constantly angry or sad about their life. People who dress like this are such hypocrites because they have so many friends. Most of the people who dress like this are pretty happy with their lives. Emo is short for emotional and I think that if you're not happy with your life then you have the right to wear the Emo stuff. The definition for Emo means to be dreppressed or angry. I don't think anyone should dress in those clothes if they are content with the way their life is. People who dress like that are misusing the word emotional. What do you think?
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im emo and u people who categorize are jerks!this is bullshit, i am tired of all you people not stopping to understand people like me, you just put a label on us and think all of us are like the people out there who use emo as an excuse for attention. i mean seriously so what if we are constantly depressed? or if we feel so depressed to the point of cutting. and no matter what age you are (this is for you samantha) you can be emo. but to be emo is to truely be unhappy with your life and are at wits end not wanting to deal with the harsh humanity that rejected us in the first place. so you all need to realize its the only way to live that makes sense to us and if that makes us stupid so be it because it comforts us in beleiving so, and besides why would you care anyways? its not like we are affecting you by secluding ourselves and dressing the way we want to and listening to the music we want to.9% Voted for by Emo1, freaky-froggy.
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Too bad you're wrong.To argue about Emo people, you have to know what Emo really means.9% Voted for by f12, sca.
Emo is short for Emo-Core which is short for Emotive Hardcore, a style of music spawning from the Hardcore and Punk scenes. The people who claim to be "emo" today have no idea the history of Emo-Core and essentially do that for attention -- to be a "non-conformist" in a totally conformist scene.Please login or register to comment.Registration is required because of issues with spam. It is fast and free! This author would LOVE to get a comment from you, please join!
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I feel like a twat for not noticing this before I posted (below), I must have just missed the last page.
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YOU DONT HVE THE RIGHT!!!ok u dont have the right to judge ppl NO ONE on this earth does we all are different and u shood acept ppl for who they r not what they wear!!! i mean wen or if someone judged u by that wouldnt that make u sad or madd o we and dont say it wouldnt u no it would. the ony person who has the right to judge us is the man above GOD!Voted for by freaky-froggy.Please login or register to comment.
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The poster is trying to address an issue of social inconsistency. I for one agree that merely wearing a type of clothing does not mean that one is ascertaining to the proscribed social notions of a particular group, and this is the flaw in the poster's reasoning.
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umm ok? what do u mean by posters?
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The person who made this topic I believe is who Techno is referring to.
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Fad or real?I dislike people who dress emo, punk-ish or goth because it is "in". But then again, I don't really care because it is quite easy to distinguish the real thing and the fad. Lots of emo's have friends, it doesn't mean that they are not sad or angry at life, it simply means that they are people interesting enough that others want to converse with them.Voted for by CrazyRebel.Please login or register to comment.
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But if they are friends back, they like those people. They find EACH OTHER interesting enough to converse with, and converse with often. They have SOMETHING to focus on in life that is about enjoyment.
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And emo's lives are suppose to be all about misery? I have friends, or at least people I hang out with, But it did not stop me from being deeply depressed 3 times in my life and suicidal twice. Most of real emos friends are like them, prone to depression and angry at life, and the company of a person with a sad air around them might make you feel accepted, but not cheerful.
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And in those dreadful moments of your life, were you a walking advertisement for those emotions? Did you revel in everyone staring at you for dressing "different" and making a "lifestyle choice" in being depressed and bizarre? Or did you look a whole lot like you, only maybe depressed. Was depression somehow NOT a fashion statement, and merely a terrible state that people of ANY "fad", fashion choice, hairstyle, and musical genre can fall into?
What really bothers me about emo kids more than other kids jumping on fads, is that it's INSULTING. It insults me that they think their depression is an alien experience to everyone that doesn't dress like them. That all the people that wear bright colors and listen to cheery music and laugh and have a good time are delusional phonies living shallow lives. Their depression is more than anything the REST of the world could understand (even though the kids that dress just like them are the kids they go out with and have a good time with and make silly youtube videos to cheesy 80's songs).
Everyone's lives get pretty crappy. And during those times, you're perfectly justified in focusing on yourself. Shutting yourself out a little bit, wearing somber colors, listening to mellow music that helps emphasize your feelings and justify to you that others out there know what you're feeling. But to for them to roll their eyes at the rest of "judgemental" society for trying to do what they can to get them to lighten up is just rude. -
Both when i was seriously depressed and now I wore stuff I felt comfortable in. It does make me stand out and I do get stared at a lot. It is not a fashion statement it is simply me, but it doesn't keep people from staring. I find THAT insulting. I don't stare at girls with their hair dyed blond wearing extra short mini skirts that cost 50 bucks even though I think they are the weird ones. Emos are not always depressed, alot of the time they simply have a sadder outlook on life, it doesn't keep them from having fun with their friends that have similar attitudes. And it is kinda hard to comprehend that others can understand when alot of the popular kids at school find it the hight of fun to comment on everything on us that is different, to insult and laugh because we wear dark colors, listen to "noise", and don't care much about looking neat. The last thing I need when i am sad is for someone cheery to try and "lighten me up". And when you tell that to them again and again, nothing is left to do but roll your eyes when they try again. I consider it rude to try to look as if you understand someone when you did not share similar experiences, 'couse if you did, you would know that help from happy people is the last thing most depressed teens want.
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"Both when i was seriously depressed and now I wore stuff I felt comfortable in. "
Exactly. Which is why it ridiculous to have a whole fashion, music, lifestyle trend based around terrible emotions that reach every fashion, music, and lifestyle choices.
"It does make me stand out and I do get stared at a lot. It is not a fashion statement it is simply me, but it doesn't keep people from staring. I find THAT insulting."
No offense, but I find it hard to believe that some part of you doesn't enjoy it. Even if you enjoy complaining about it. I may like my worn and torn and stained clothes. I wear them around the house or jogging or around the block to the corner store. I like them, and because of how old they are they "are me" more than any of my other clothes. But they're gross and raggedy looking. I don't wear them when I go to the mall or the bar or a club, because I wouldn't get the reaction I want. I dress nicer and cleaner. Sometimes I will go the whole week without shaving, having a scraggily beard. But I look better shaved, so when the weekend comes I start shaving again. It is unavoidable to think of what others will think when you dress and prepare yourself.
Regardless, if wearing 13 pairs of pants, no shirt, and a bra was "simply me" I don't think I should be astonished when people stare. Difference is noticeable and curious. They're not throwing stones at you, and they're not gaping at a horrible disfiguration.
"I don't stare at girls with their hair dyed blond"
That's pretty mundane.
"I don't stare at girls with their hair dyed blond wearing extra short mini skirts that cost 50 bucks "
Why not?
"even though I think they are the weird ones"
50 dollars for a pair of bottoms is fairly reasonable, especially in women's apparel. Aside from the jeans and t-shirt crowd, the only way to be the "coolest" emo and goth kid is buy horribly expensive outfits.
". Emos are not always depressed, alot of the time they simply have a sadder outlook on life"
That's what's ridiculous. You think girls that dye their hair BLOND (of all colors!) and wear reasonably priced mini skirts don't have "sadder" outlooks on life? You need to embrace a passing subculture in order to be one of those people? You can't "dress emo" and be someone who has a happier outlook on life? What about before emo was around, and after it goes away? Sadder outlooks on life never were before, and never will be again.
". And it is kinda hard to comprehend that others can understand when alot of the popular kids at school find it the hight of fun to comment on everything on us that is different, to insult and laugh because we wear dark colors, listen to "noise", and don't care much about looking neat."
As oppose to making fun of them for "being popular" and dying their hair blond and listening to cheery or repetitive pop music? For not understanding anything outside their "superficial" lives, even though yours is identically based around a DIFFERENT standard of clothing and music and attitude? And wearing short skirts that you imagine are expensive but have a strange outlook on what expensive is. I don't mean to be bold and pressing, but do you even buy your own clothes? If not, does that mean someone else pays for your clothing expenses, even though you imagine and look down upon the popular mini skirters for supposedly being spoiled and wasting money on clothes?
"The last thing I need when i am sad is for someone cheery to try and "lighten me up""
You could at the very least appreciate their concern and effort, but kindly explain you just need sometime to yourself.
"I consider it rude to try to look as if you understand someone when you did not share similar experiences, 'couse if you did, you would know that help from happy people is the last thing most depressed teens want."
Yeah, I somehow managed to go through life without being a depressed teen. Or depressed adult! I'm one of those crazy "happy people" that never had to go through depression in their lives that will NEVER understand. -
“No offense, but I find it hard to believe that some part of you doesn't enjoy it.”
I used to enjoy the attention, but after a while it is simply sad that people find it so hard to accept others. I am not complaining about it, in fact that was the first time I ever mentioned it.
“It is unavoidable to think of what others will think when you dress and prepare yourself.”
I honestly don’t care what the majority of people think about me, it’s just annoying when people stare or completely try to avoid me because I am “weird”.
“Regardless, if wearing 13 pairs of pants, no shirt, and a bra was "simply me" I don't think I should be astonished when people stare. Difference is noticeable and curious. “
The thing is that I do not look that much different. Wearing ripped jeans, black or red t-shirt, baggy black hoodie, studded belt, chucks (converse) and wrist bands should not make me weird, but people stare.
“They're not throwing stones at you, and they're not gaping at a horrible disfiguration.”
But the way that they always stare or try to avoid me makes it feel like I do have some “horrible disfiguration”.
“50 dollars for a pair of bottoms is fairly reasonable, especially in women's apparel. Aside from the jeans and t-shirt crowd, the only way to be the "coolest" emo and goth kid is buy horribly expensive outfits.”
The most expensive apparel I own are my glasses that cost 50 bucks, I can not recognize people unless they are only 10 feet in front of me without them. Everything of mine costs less than 20 bucks. And there is no such thing as the cool emo kid. That is someone who only dresses and acts emo for the attention. There are tons of kids in my school who are happy but dress emo spending bizarre amounts of money on their clothing, but I bet next year when being chav or nerd becomes “in” that is exactly what they will be. I only know two guys in my school who are actually emo. Both of them are in the “jeans and t-shirts” crowd along with moshers and Goths.
“That's what's ridiculous. You think girls that dye their hair BLOND (of all colors!) and wear reasonably priced mini skirts don't have "sadder" outlooks on life? “
I admit I am stereotyping, but I find it hard to believe people who are always smiling and listening to upbeat pop and hip-hop music can have a sad outlook.
“You need to embrace a passing subculture in order to be one of those people?”
No, but if you are one of those people you will be automatically accused of embracing the subculture just to be one of them.
“You can't "dress emo" and be someone who has a happier outlook on life?”
You can dress emo, but that does not make you emo. It is stupid to see people who are visibly happy trying to look all depressed because the want to be “cool”.
“What about before emo was around, and after it goes away? Sadder outlooks on life never were before, and never will be again.”
People who now are what is called emo will be either ignored, called something else, or grouped because of something different.
“As oppose to making fun of them for "being popular" and dying their hair blond and listening to cheery or repetitive pop music?”
I am not making fun of them, I am simply stating the fact that I think they are stupid with all of their stupid giggling over nothing and making fun of people for being different.
“For not understanding anything outside their "superficial" lives “
They do not understand anything outside their own lives as I admit I do not understand much about theirs
“even though yours is identically based around a DIFFERENT standard of clothing and music and attitude?”
My life is not based around a different standard of clothing or attitudes, even though I admit it is based a lot around my music, which happens to be death and black metal and punk. I didn’t even notice much change in the way I dressed but once I entered 7th grade I was being called punk and goth. Now its goth, emo, and mosher.
“And wearing short skirts that you imagine are expensive but have a strange outlook on what expensive is.”
Anything above 30 is expensive for the simple reason that you can find stuff much cheaper.
“ I don't mean to be bold and pressing, but do you even buy your own clothes? If not, does that mean someone else pays for your clothing expenses, even though you imagine and look down upon the popular mini skirters for supposedly being spoiled and wasting money on clothes?”
I baby-sit, tutor younger kids in math and science, and do pretty much any part-time job I can find to get money. The only things my parents buy for me are gifts for holydays and food. Everything else I buy for my own money. It has been that way since I was 13. Populars are often spoiled, not saying all of them are not, but anyone who buys things that cost 50 bucks even though you can find pretty much the same thing at discount stores for 10 can’t be doing that for their own money.
“You could at the very least appreciate their concern and effort, but kindly explain you just need sometime to yourself.”
That never works with anyone who has ever tried to help me, after many times of telling that to many people while they continue to press me it gets kinda hard to be nice to them.
“Yeah, I somehow managed to go through life without being a depressed teen. Or depressed adult! I'm one of those crazy "happy people" that never had to go through depression in their lives that will NEVER understand.”
You can not understand what you never experienced, it is simply not possible.
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"I used to enjoy the attention"
Ha!
"but after a while it is simply sad that people find it so hard to accept others. "
Would you effortlessly ignore me or nonchalantly ask me what time it was if I wore 13 pants and a bra? A little more extreme, but difference is something your eye gravitates towards. Maybe they even like the way you look. If I catch people looking at me I am not immediately insulted, as I do not perceive myself to be some wildcard outcast. I am comfortable with how I look, assume they would be too, and figure they simply like what they see.
"Wearing ripped jeans, black or red t-shirt, baggy black hoodie, studded belt, chucks (converse) and wrist bands should not make me weird, but people stare."
Where do you live that this is outrageous? Personally, and I mean no offense, I think wrist bands are pretty dumb and studded belts slightly less so passed the age of 18. My cousin wears wrist bands and I make fun of him incessantly, but in a good way. But aside from not seeing them as my cup of tea, they're not so out of the ordinary that I'd have to do a double take and take a step back as you walk near--nor do I know anyone that taps me on the arm and whispers "Get a load of this!" when someone is wearing this on the street.
"Everything of mine costs less than 20 bucks. "
Most of my t-shirts are under 20, and I own a couple pairs of jeans under 20 bucks but they're a "you get what you pay for" sort of deal, and go to pieces within months. I may wear my torn jeans sometimes, if the place I'm going is casual enough, but the holes tend to get too big and why would I wear something like that in the winter? The "pricey" jeans I own are from Old Navy and are at least 25 unless on sale and last a good amount of time. No sneakers worth running in are under 45, and most chucks I've seen--especially lately--are more than 20. My work boots are 70 at least. All "nice" shirts are 25-45. Women's clothes are always more expensive, especially stuff that you wouldn't just bum around in.
"I admit I am stereotyping, but I find it hard to believe people who are always smiling and listening to upbeat pop and hip-hop music can have a sad outlook."
You admit you're stereotyping but don't admit to what that means. Get to know any one of them and they have tragic lives. Everyone has tragic lives.
"No, but if you are one of those people you will be automatically accused of embracing the subculture just to be one of them."
As oppose to being accused of having some superficial life because you smile and listen to happier music.
"It is stupid to see people who are visibly happy trying to look all depressed because the want to be “cool”."
The only thing worth noticing personality-wise in the way someone dresses is how hard they are trying to present themselves as something.
"People who now are what is called emo will be either ignored, called something else, or grouped because of something different."
Can't wait.
"I am not making fun of them, I am simply stating the fact that I think they are stupid"
Hm.
"with all of their stupid giggling over nothing"
Some people look into the void and decide to make the most of every moment. Enjoy anything they can because everything else sucks. Other people embrace how much everything else sucks and have nothing else to do because of it.
" and making fun of people for being different."
They should probably stop making fun and start condescendingly thinking about how stupid the different people are--maybe venturing enough to talk about their stupidity behind their backs.
"They do not understand anything outside their own lives as I admit I do not understand much about theirs"
So what's the difference?
"even though I admit it is based a lot around my music, which happens to be death and black metal and punk"
And it just burns your butt when they (apparently?) call your music "noise". What do they know?! With their stupid upbeat pop music and hip-hop! Wait...Isn't that just equal criticism?
You can't let yourself get MAD at people for disliking and not comprehending your music. Everyone dislikes forms of music.
"I didn’t even notice much change in the way I dressed but once I entered 7th grade I was being called punk and goth. Now its goth, emo,"
You ACCIDENTALLY started dressing identically to the casually-popular trend of punk and goth? You could have been born in 1950 or 2211, you would have just without thinking or noticing had spikey hair, long hair, band shirts, chucks, and wristbands. "Oh? Is this a style? Hm...curious...."
"and mosher."
Mosher has a style now? Isn't it just anyone that jumps in the pit and takes a good beating while giving back equally hard?
"Anything above 30 is expensive for the simple reason that you can find stuff much cheaper."
Where?
"but anyone who buys things that cost 50 bucks even though you can find pretty much the same thing at discount stores for 10 can’t be doing that for their own money."
Where are these discount stores? The best prices for anything of DECENT quality worth wearing is usually someplace like target, which will still easily have skirts for 50. Or you can go to some "Oddmart" in the mall with all the damaged and factory-error clothes. You might get lucky and find something that has a silly "error" that will be easily overlooked, but generally they're going to be poor. It's why people get excited about finding that worthwhile bargain.
"That never works with anyone who has ever tried to help me, after many times of telling that to many people while they continue to press me it gets kinda hard to be nice to them."
No offense, but did you kindly thank them for their concern but then reassure them that you'll be fine after a little time? Or did you put up a pout and give a little attitude about how you just needed to be left alone? For months? And months?
Anyone that "continues to press" you on the matter means they still worry about your well-being in spite of seeing no progress. Maybe they're not good at cheering you up--maybe you're not good at letting yourself being cheered up. Who knows? But regardless, they care. That's something wonderful to appreciate. That's more than lots of people have. That's more than lots of short-skirted blond girls have--who often instead have people that ignore them as happy-go-lucky ditzes that could never have anything wrong enough to worry about. Nobody to even notice or care that somethings wrong.
"You can not understand what you never experienced, it is simply not possible."
I was being sarcastic. Everyone had depressing teenage years. Everyone gets horribly depressed. -
“Ha! “
After being ignored by everyone except my parents, teachers, and people who only noticed me enough to call me a stupid russian for the simple reason that I was much smarter than them, it was rather nice to be noticed.
”Would you effortlessly ignore me or nonchalantly ask me what time it was if I wore 13 pants and a bra? A little more extreme, but difference is something your eye gravitates towards. Maybe they even like the way you look. If I catch people looking at me I am not immediately insulted, as I do not perceive myself to be some wildcard outcast. I am comfortable with how I look, assume they would be too, and figure they simply like what they see.”
It is easy to distinguish between looks of disgust, interest, and attraction. There are people who look at me with interest but the majority looks at me as if they are uncomfortable being near me.
”Personally, and I mean no offense, I think wrist bands are pretty dumb and studded belts slightly less so passed the age of 18”
I am not someone that cares
“But aside from not seeing them as my cup of tea, they're not so out of the ordinary that I'd have to do a double take and take a step back as you walk near--nor do I know anyone that taps me on the arm and whispers "Get a load of this!" when someone is wearing this on the street.”
Maybe my hair and make-up that gets the staring, I have no idea, fact is people stare, people look back at me, people attract the attention of whoever they are with toward me. Not saying all do, but much more than they do on the days that my parents make me dress “normal” ‘couse I am going somewhere with them.
”Most of my t-shirts are under 20, and I own a couple pairs of jeans under 20 bucks but they're a "you get what you pay for" sort of deal, and go to pieces within months.”
My jeans tend to last till I either grow or loose weight, which usually means 1-1.5 years, without looking like a piece of shit.
“The "pricey" jeans I own are from Old Navy and are at least 25 unless on sale and last a good amount of time.”
My jeans for 15-20 bucks from random cheap stores last for a long time.
“No sneakers worth running in are under 45”
Sneakers, from the same type of stores, made by good brands can cost 30 bucks.
“most chucks I've seen--especially lately--are more than 20.”
Well I found them for twenty, yay for me.
“All "nice" shirts are 25-45. “
Once again, possible to get same quality for 10-20 bucks.
“Women's clothes are always more expensive, especially stuff that you wouldn't just bum around in.”
Depends on where you shop, and what kind of life you lead.
”You admit you're stereotyping but don't admit to what that means. Get to know any one of them and they have tragic lives. Everyone has tragic lives.”
Tragic lives? Rotfflmfao Hardly anyone I know leads tragic lives. The way we look at life is the only thing that varies for the most part. Some people see the glass half empty, some see it half full.
”As oppose to being accused of having some superficial life because you smile and listen to happier music.”
I never accused them of leading superficial life. Saying that is the job of those happy cool emos.
”Some people look into the void and decide to make the most of every moment. Enjoy anything they can because everything else sucks. Other people embrace how much everything else sucks and have nothing else to do because of it.”
And that works for us rather well. We don’t want to have much to do with the world, the world doesn’t want much to do with us either, trust me, I tried. Until I started hanging out with the “darker” group, I was ignored, I was laughed at, I was pushed away, no matter how nice I tried to be.
”They should probably stop making fun and start condescendingly thinking about how stupid the different people are--maybe venturing enough to talk about their stupidity behind their backs.”
I seriously wouldn’t mind if they stopped talking and started thinking it, it would be a nice change to be left alone by them. I don’t talk about their stupidity behind their backs, if they would want my opinion about it, I would openly give it, they don’t, I don’t care.
”So what's the difference?”
The fact that they have no sense of who THEY are. They have no personal styles, I often see girls wearing almost identical clothing sitting together, while I have never seen any of my friends dress alike. They all seem to be interested in the same music, have the same favorite songs, while I don’t know anybody in the school who knows and likes at least half of my favorite bands. They care too much about what is going on in the lives of others for the simple “fun” of gossip.
”And it just burns your butt when they (apparently?) call your music "noise".”
They call it noise often, and I take that as a complement.
“What do they know?! With their stupid upbeat pop music and hip-hop! Wait...Isn't that just equal criticism?”
Did I say it wasn’t? I don’t care if they don’t like my music, but it is funny to insult theirs and see them try to explain why their music is better then mine.
”You can't let yourself get MAD at people for disliking and not comprehending your music. Everyone dislikes forms of music.”
I don’t get mad
”You ACCIDENTALLY started dressing identically to the casually-popular trend of punk and goth? You could have been born in 1950 or 2211, you would have just without thinking or noticing had spikey hair, long hair, band shirts, chucks, and wristbands. "Oh? Is this a style? Hm...curious...."”
I never spiked my hair. It was longish and messy because I didn't care enough to do more than wash it 4-5 times a week and brush it in the morning. I started wearing band t-shirts because I wanted my clothing to say something about me. I wore chucks because they were comfortable and cheap. I started wearing wristbands because I was desperate to find something to cover my wrists up with since it was summer and I could not get away with wearing long sleeved shirts.
”Mosher has a style now? Isn't it just anyone that jumps in the pit and takes a good beating while giving back equally hard?”
Where I live anyone who listens to metal, goes to concerts, wears clothing that is either punk, goth, emo, or is has an I don’t care look to it, is not popular, hangs out with the other “moshers”, and doesn’t care is called a mosher.
”Where are these discount stores? The best prices for anything of DECENT quality worth wearing is usually someplace like target, which will still easily have skirts for 50. Or you can go to some "Oddmart" in the mall with all the damaged and factory-error clothes. You might get lucky and find something that has a silly "error" that will be easily overlooked, but generally they're going to be poor. It's why people get excited about finding that worthwhile bargain.”
Most clothing at the stores I shop at have brand name clothing that simply didn’t sell in the original stores, it is just as good, and it is possible to get t-shirts for 5 bucks anywhere and then try to make them more interesting.
”No offense, but did you kindly thank them for their concern but then reassure them that you'll be fine after a little time?”
For the first few times.
“Or did you put up a pout and give a little attitude about how you just needed to be left alone? For months? And months?”
After a while I gave up the first method and started saying that I am fine.
”Anyone that "continues to press" you on the matter means they still worry about your well-being in spite of seeing no progress.”
Their worries are not my problem, just as mine are not theirs.
“Maybe they're not good at cheering you up--maybe you're not good at letting yourself being cheered up. Who knows? But regardless, they care.”
I don’t
“That's something wonderful to appreciate. That's more than lots of people have.”
And some people are dead. Are you going to try to make me feel guilty for being alive? It is what I have, if someone who needs it wants it, I would gladly give it to them, but I can’t.
“That's more than lots of short-skirted blond girls have--who often instead of people that ignore them as happy-go-lucky ditzes that could never have anything wrong enough to worry about. Nobody to even notice or care that somethings wrong.”
It is much easier to deal with pain when no one is there to try to make tell about it. No one to say they understand when you know that the person know absolutely nothing about who you are inside.
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"people who only noticed me enough to call me a stupid russian"
Do you have an accent? Just curious.
"it was rather nice to be noticed."
And now?
"There are people who look at me with interest but the majority looks at me as if they are uncomfortable being near me."
But not easy to distinguish that with looks of surprise and confusion.
"Maybe my hair and make-up that gets the staring"
Well what's wrong about your hair and make-up? Are you a guy? Obviously a guy wearing make-up is something people notice and make fun of more, and while I think it's kinda weird and bit much effort to be so out of the ordinary, it's nobody's business. If you're a girl, why is your hair and make-up so noticeable? Are you purposely leaving something out?
"Not saying all do, but much more than they do on the days that my parents make me dress “normal” ‘couse I am going somewhere with them."
There is absolutely nothing out of the ordinary about jeans and a hooded sweatshirt. If anything, they're a little under-ordinary. It's what makes me so curious about the rest of your make-up and hair. This outfit is not in the least shocking and off-putting. Aside from not liking any holes at all when it's cold, I--and most everyone I've ever seen every age group and clique--often wears jeans a hooded shirt or jacket. You either have a 1 foot mohawk that obviously takes at least 45 minutes to set, or practically tribal tattoo your face in make-up. If you and your parents are going to a nicer place, or grandparents, it'd be fairly rude to wear ripped (purposely ripped all over?) jeans and an old sweatshirt.
"My jeans for 15-20 bucks from random cheap stores last for a long time."
How many pairs are you cycling through? And what/where are these "random cheap stores"? I get around, and have been dragged into many stores with girl friends. I never find quality jeans for under 25 bucks, and certainly not a good pair of running shoes for under 40.
Converse for under 20? I haven't seen that since the late 90's when they were almost going out of business. The cheapest basic ones I see is 40 and I've seen other ones for over 200. Not I really care about the raise in price, I never saw they appeal. Flat bottoms are so uncomfortable to run in, the cloth-like material will tear quicker than other shoes and water seeps in to your feet easy.
"Once again, possible to get same quality for 10-20 bucks."
What do you think I'm marching into Daffy's and astonished at the prices? I go into stores and look for anything nice, and nice stuff is usually expensive. You can get poor quality stuff pretty cheap at Target, or slightly pricier better stuff at Old Navy. Aside from that I may go into one of those stoner-owned "discount goods" stores in the village which is entirely OLD, grimey clothes that actually have stains and holes in them from the 70's and on--and then they also have their regular priced new "in" T-Shirts and bowling shirts. I don't demand I have pricey goods and refuse to look for deals, I see what's best and buy it.
"Tragic lives? Rotfflmfao Hardly anyone I know leads tragic lives."
Then you don't KNOW anyone.
"I never accused them of leading superficial life. Saying that is the job of those happy cool emos."
Thinking that "they are stupid with all of their stupid giggling over nothing" sounds like a pretty superficial life to me.
"We don’t want to have much to do with the world, the world doesn’t want much to do with us either,"
The only reason I don't go out of my way to befriend someone spending a whole lot of time making themselves look different is because most of the time all they want to do is dramatically talk about how they're ostracized. Aside from that I listen to whatever they have to say that's interesting and laugh at any of their jokes that are funny.
"Until I started hanging out with the “darker” group, I was ignored, I was laughed at, I was pushed away, no matter how nice I tried to be."
Doesn't happen. "Nice" kids are only ostracized in grammar school because they're nervous and adhere to the rules too much. Even tattle sometimes. So: A. The other kids are laughing and having a good time, making too much noise and doing stuff maybe they shouldn't, while the "nice" kid (as if the other kids are all automatically arseholes) are looking on from the sidelines longingly, but too nervous to join in. Friendships form without them, and no one knows them well enough that they become "outcasts", but really just quiet kids. And B. They may even tell on kids all the time, and who wants to be best buds with the kid that's going to tell on them all the time?
As you get older, the "nice" kid still gets put on the outside for similar reasons. If these kids, while perhaps nice enough, go out of their way to overtly decorate themselves as outcasts, the natural reaction will be a good ribbing. My little brother, who I think the world of, got a "fohawk" for a while and of course I made fun of him. Kids do it out of affection and just a natural reaction to a surprising difference. When the "nice" kid who purposely made himself look different gets an astonished reaction, they get righteously defensive: "SO what?! This is what I look like, just mind your own business!!". What will the other kids do but get defensive back, and it just perpetuates itself.
When I started wearing necklaces and growing "chin pubes" I got made fun of incessantly, and still do here and there. It was a change for me, and both aren't the most universally cool looking. Same happens when I listen to Madonna or Shakira as opposed to my usual totally happening choices. I didn't throw my arms in the air in disbelief and storm off. I laughed and ribbed back. People rip on each other, it's life.
"I seriously wouldn’t mind if they stopped talking and started thinking it, it would be a nice change to be left alone by them"
You just complained about people that supposedly just look disgusted, so yes you would mind.
"I don’t talk about their stupidity behind their backs,"
So for all you know, your "dark" friends think the world of these people?
"t was longish and messy because I didn't care enough to do more than wash it 4-5 times a week "
Yuck lol Doesn't it get greasy?
"I started wearing band t-shirts because I wanted my clothing to say something about me. I wore chucks because they were comfortable and cheap"
Coincidentally the same shoes many of the band members and band fans also wear. Eerie.
"I started wearing wristbands because I was desperate to find something to cover my wrists up with since it was summer and I could not get away with wearing long sleeved shirts."
If you've already attempted suicide, how can you even question people's constant pressing for your well-being? I know you've already clarified you're not one to get offended or mad, but I hope you don't take this the wrong way: Stop being so selfish. You try to kill yourself and then afterwards do nothing but live the "darker" life, with darker clothing, darker friends, a sourpuss on your face all the time? Purposely isolating yourself from the majority of people as much as possible, and pushing people away that try to cheer you up? For years. And years. And YEARS. What do you think this is doing to the people that care about you? Sure, it's a nice little dark piece of history for your life story, but it's a horrible piece of dread for them. It happened, they blame themselves, and all you've done since is get darker and more isolated. They can only assume you're still a wreck, and have no idea if it will happen again--and as much as horrible time that is, they still know it's not as horrible as the day you DO go through with it and their lives will be even worse after that. And they have no idea how to get through. Go out and give the people you care about a giant hug, apologize for always being so distant and the fact you will continue to be so, but assure them you will NOT off yourself and truly appreciate their concern. You just enjoy being different and dark, but you are NOT suicidal. If you ARE still suicidal, counseling is very helpful, and easy to get at your age.
"Where I live anyone who listens to metal, goes to concerts, wears clothing that is either punk, goth, emo, or is has an I don’t care look to it, is not popular, hangs out with the other “moshers”, and doesn’t care is called a mosher."
So you don't actually have to mosh?
"Most clothing at the stores I shop at have brand name clothing that simply didn’t sell in the original stores, it is just as good, and it is possible to get t-shirts for 5 bucks anywhere and then try to make them more interesting."
I worked stock in a clothing store for years, and we'd send the last few seasons stuff out to outlet stores. They'd be lowered in price, but anything wildly signifigant would be raised in price once it reached the outlet. So you certainly CAN find deals in outlet stores, but outlet stores are very limited in number and not always easy to get to. And the worst part is, the REASON things didn't sell is typically because they were hideous or in a not-so-typical size. So while I occasionally find myself in outlet stores nowadays, rarely anything my size looks nice at all, and many people have the same problem. And denim NEVER decreases in price, no matter what the season or store, aside from specialty denim that comes out maybe once a year--ALSO therefore limited in sizes.
"Their worries are not my problem, just as mine are not theirs."
Nice.
"I don’t"
OOOO you ARE dark!!
"And some people are dead. Are you going to try to make me feel guilty for being alive?"
Yes. Appreciate life while you have it. Appreciate youth while you have it. Appreciate loved ones while you have it.
"It is what I have, if someone who needs it wants it, I would gladly give it to them, but I can’t."
Maybe people outcast you because you're so unfeeling to those that care about you, and not because you wear sweatshirts. I know, I know. You don't care! Which is why you wouldn't go out of your way to look so different, and it's also why you don't care that people look at you so disgusted and make fun of you. You don't care about anything! ...Wait, except about that stuff.
"No one to say they understand when you know that the person know absolutely nothing about who you are inside."
I doubt there is a single experience in the world that is entirely unique. But obviously NOTHING is exactly the same. Regardless, I don't need to be a single mother with 2 jobs to feel her pain and listen her problems if she needs it, and I don't need to be a starving kid working in a factory in Malaysia to feel bad for them. Empathy is not about coindentally being IDENTICAL circumstances. -
“Do you have an accent? Just curious.”
I have a slight accent that a lot of people say they like, but back then, when I had just moved to America, I had a strong Russian accent, stuttered, and didn’t speak English that well.
“And now?”
I am no longer unnoticed even at the times when I am not stared at, so the excessive attention does bug me. Imagine constantly feeling if you were on a stage.
”Well what's wrong about your hair and make-up? Are you a guy? Obviously a guy wearing make-up is something people notice and make fun of more, and while I think it's kinda weird and bit much effort to be so out of the ordinary, it's nobody's business. If you're a girl, why is your hair and make-up so noticeable? Are you purposely leaving something out?”
I sometimes put read streaks in my hair and about once every 2 months die it a purplish black. The color looks good on me. As for my make-up, I either have lots of black eyeliner or red eye shadow on.
”There is absolutely nothing out of the ordinary about jeans and a hooded sweatshirt. If anything, they're a little under-ordinary.”
I have to admit I do look emo/goth/punk in them, not sure why, but I do.
“You either have a 1 foot mohawk that obviously takes at least 45 minutes to set, or practically tribal tattoo your face in make-up.”
I did make about 1 foot spikes once. But I was on vacation in Florida with some of my punk friends, so I usually don’t look like that.
“If you and your parents are going to a nicer place, or grandparents, it'd be fairly rude to wear ripped (purposely ripped all over?) jeans and an old sweatshirt.”
The only times they make me look like a prep is when they are pissed at something, they’ll critique every damn thing I am wearing as well as all my beliefs and lack of them.
“How many pairs are you cycling through?”
2-3 normal ones, 1-2 ripped (usually my older ones)
”Converse for under 20? I haven't seen that since the late 90's when they were almost going out of business. The cheapest basic ones I see is 40 and I've seen other ones for over 200. Not I really care about the raise in price, I never saw they appeal.”
I told you I find them for cheaper than that, if you don’t believe me, I don’t care, but my answer will not change from the fact that you mention it over and over.
“Flat bottoms are so uncomfortable to run in, the cloth-like material will tear quicker than other shoes and water seeps in to your feet easy.”
I don’t run in them, don’t really have the need to do so. I don’t care if they tear or if water seeps in.
”You can get poor quality stuff pretty cheap at Target, or slightly pricier better stuff at Old Navy. Aside from that I may go into one of those stoner-owned "discount goods" stores in the village which is entirely OLD, grimey clothes that actually have stains and holes in them from the 70's and on--and then they also have their regular priced new "in" T-Shirts and bowling shirts. I don't demand I have pricey goods and refuse to look for deals, I see what's best and buy it.”
I have said it before. Quality, not pre-owned, clothing that fits well can be found easily for cheap prices.
“Then you don't KNOW anyone.”
What the hell would you classify as tragic? The most tragic thing around here is parents getting divorced, and that is not that much of a deal.
”Thinking that "they are stupid with all of their stupid giggling over nothing" sounds like a pretty superficial life to me.”
They giggle, they are stupid, if it sound life superficial to you, that’s perfectly fine with me, but I think superficial is different from that.
”The only reason I don't go out of my way to befriend someone spending a whole lot of time making themselves look different is because most of the time all they want to do is dramatically talk about how they're ostracized.”
I don’t talk about it much except on the internet. I don’t spend time making myself look different, I try my best to not get caught up in a subculture and stop dressing like, acting, or being myself.
”Doesn't happen. "Nice" kids are only ostracized in grammar school because they're nervous and adhere to the rules too much. Even tattle sometimes”
I never tattle, I always loved to break the rules. I am a bit quiet, but not entirely silent. I don’t mean nice as in “the good kid/teacher’s pet”, I mean it as a helpful, friendly type person. I have tried to fit in with the normal kids. I tried to follow fashion, I tried to act like them, but I suck at being fake. I am very different from the majority, I can try to be like them but I will end up once again shunned and depressed.
”When I started wearing necklaces and growing "chin pubes" I got made fun of incessantly, and still do here and there. It was a change for me, and both aren't the most universally cool looking. Same happens when I listen to Madonna or Shakira as opposed to my usual totally happening choices. I didn't throw my arms in the air in disbelief and storm off. I laughed and ribbed back. People rip on each other, it's life.”
Been there, done that. I’ve tried laughing it off, people made more fun of me. I tried to look as if I don’t care, and it at least convinced my parents, but it did not change anything.
”You just complained about people that supposedly just look disgusted, so yes you would mind.”
Guess that is kinda true, but I wouldn’t mind it if they stopped the talking and went to just the thinking, half the problem would be gone.
”So for all you know, your "dark" friends think the world of these people?”
They don’t care much about them unless they start bothering us. They don’t exactly appreciate the looks, but I was never that comfortable with people, so that might be a part of the problem why I am the one most affected by the staring.
”Yuck lol Doesn't it get greasy?”
That is a max of 2 days of hair going unwashed at a time, it does not get that greasy
”Coincidentally the same shoes many of the band members and band fans also wear. Eerie.”
I wasn’t that much interested in what the band members wore. And I don’t remember seeing any chucks in the death/black metal bands I listen to.
”If you've already attempted suicide, how can you even question people's constant pressing for your well-being? I know you've already clarified you're not one to get offended or mad, but I hope you don't take this the wrong way: Stop being so selfish. You try to kill yourself and then afterwards do nothing but live the "darker" life, with darker clothing, darker friends, a sourpuss on your face all the time?”
I’ve been seriously suicidal, but I’ve never attempted suicide. I cut to relieve stress and let out the pain. Some people cry, some people scream, some people become like a constant PMS. I cut. I don’t do it deep enough for it to be dangerous.
“Purposely isolating yourself from the majority of people as much as possible, and pushing people away that try to cheer you up? For years. And years. And YEARS. What do you think this is doing to the people that care about you? Sure, it's a nice little dark piece of history for your life story, but it's a horrible piece of dread for them. It happened, they blame themselves, and all you've done since is get darker and more isolated. They can only assume you're still a wreck, and have no idea if it will happen again--and as much as horrible time that is, they still know it's not as horrible as the day you DO go through with it and their lives will be even worse after that. And they have no idea how to get through. Go out and give the people you care about a giant hug, apologize for always being so distant and the fact you will continue to be so, but assure them you will NOT off yourself and truly appreciate their concern. You just enjoy being different and dark, but you are NOT suicidal. If you ARE still suicidal, counseling is very helpful, and easy to get at your age.”
I prefer to deal with problems on my own. Talking about it only makes it harder for me, I have tried. I have told my parents that I am fine many times, I do not think that they even know about my many depressions, cutting, or the fact that I used to be suicidal, they simply notice that I am often extremely sad for reasons I never disclose.
”So you don't actually have to mosh?”
I do, and so do many of my friends, but it is not a requirement since the people doing the labeling don’t actually know what we do at the concerts. They probably assume that we mosh since many of us are violent.
“I worked stock in a clothing store for years, and we'd send the last few seasons stuff out to outlet stores. They'd be lowered in price, but anything wildly signifigant would be raised in price once it reached the outlet. So you certainly CAN find deals in outlet stores, but outlet stores are very limited in number and not always easy to get to. And the worst part is, the REASON things didn't sell is typically because they were hideous or in a not-so-typical size. So while I occasionally find myself in outlet stores nowadays, rarely anything my size looks nice at all, and many people have the same problem. And denim NEVER decreases in price, no matter what the season or store, aside from specialty denim that comes out maybe once a year--ALSO therefore limited in sizes.”
Once again, I find stuff that is good, that is significantly cheaper, and denim does often decrease in price, I often see ones that are half+ cheaper than their original price.
”OOOO you ARE dark!!”
Okay
”Yes. Appreciate life while you have it. Appreciate youth while you have it. Appreciate loved ones while you have it.”
I do appreciate, but I intend on living it the way I want to. Not trying to fake being someone I am not or trying to understand people I honestly don’t care about and that don’t care about me.
“Maybe people outcast you because you're so unfeeling to those that care about you, and not because you wear sweatshirts.”
I care about the people around me, as long as they do not bug me. If people I don’t know or don’t feel comfortable with start trying to make me talk what do I have left to do except shut them out.
“I know, I know. You don't care!”
There are things I care about, not much, but they are still there.
“Which is why you wouldn't go out of your way to look so different”
I don’t go out of my way to look different, I go out of my way to avoid stereotypes and continue to be myself. I look different because that is who I am.
“it's also why you don't care that people look at you so disgusted”
That is one of the few things I care about. One gets used to being unnoticed. After years and years of being unnoticed it might be good to be noticed for a while, but after that when it is no longer something new the only thing that is left is the constant feeling of being watched as if you are on a stage and failing miserably at what ever it is you are suppose to be doing.
“ and make fun of you.”
I don’t care if they make fun of me, all the stuff they can come up with is either stupid or stuff that I consider a complement. The constant staring bothers me more.
”I doubt there is a single experience in the world that is entirely unique. But obviously NOTHING is exactly the same. Regardless, I don't need to be a single mother with 2 jobs to feel her pain and listen her problems if she needs it, and I don't need to be a starving kid working in a factory in Malaysia to feel bad for them. Empathy is not about coindentally being IDENTICAL circumstances.”
You can relate to the people with real problems, but when the problems stop being the ones of survival and physical comfort, and start being in the life of an average kid with a messed up head you can’t really do much to help.
-
"I am no longer unnoticed even at the times when I am not stared at,"
Did that come out right? If not, it sounds like much of this would be in your head.
"I sometimes put read streaks in my hair and about once every 2 months die it a purplish black. The color looks good on me. As for my make-up, I either have lots of black eyeliner or red eye shadow on."
The hair's not that crazy, even for guys these days. The make-up COULD be somewhat eye catching, especially since red is a color your eyes will gravitate towards. And if by LOTS you mean the eye liner extends to your ears, that could be doing it.
Are you a guy or a girl?? lol
"I have to admit I do look emo/goth/punk in them, not sure why, but I do."
The studded belt and possibility of a band on the shirt may make me think so. Aside from that, it's a standard outfit. And even with that, it's a standard outfit only now shows you like this type of music. Nothing outrageous is happening.
"I did make about 1 foot spikes once. But I was on vacation in Florida with some of my punk friends, so I usually don’t look like that."
Well I hope you weren't confused then.
"The only times they make me look like a prep is when they are pissed at something, they’ll critique every damn thing I am wearing"
What do they say? "Stop wearing jeans and sweatshirts!"?
"I told you I find them for cheaper than that, if you don’t believe me, I don’t care,"
Well good, cause I don't.
"I don’t run in them, don’t really have the need to do so. I don’t care if they tear or if water seeps in."
Well, I guess I'll NEVER be anti-stylish! When will the in-crowd embrace damp shoes falling to pieces so I can be in comfort and convenience without being a conformist!
"I have said it before. Quality, not pre-owned, clothing that fits well can be found easily for cheap prices."
You just won't say where. The "random" stores have brand names. Unless they "fell off the back of the truck" the brand names don't sell lower than the price the brand demands.
"What the hell would you classify as tragic? The most tragic thing around here is parents getting divorced, and that is not that much of a deal."
The facade of having a really tough heart for shock value is just making me bored.
"They giggle, they are stupid, if it sound life superficial to you, that’s perfectly fine with me, but I think superficial is different from that."
Being stupid people that can't understand anything with depth. Giggling over NOTHING. The definition of superficial is have no depth. An inability to appreciate anything of value. Whatever superficial means to you, it is not what superficial actually means.
"I don’t spend time making myself look different, I try my best to not get caught up in a subculture and stop dressing like, acting, or being myself."
So then what are they looking at?
"I mean it as a helpful, friendly type person. I have tried to fit in with the normal kids. I tried to follow fashion, I tried to act like them, but I suck at being fake. I am very different from the majority, I can try to be like them but I will end up once again shunned and depressed."
Were you FAKING the helpful, friendliness?
I don't TRY to fit in with people to get them to be my friends. I don't look in the mirror and go "Yuck, this outfit sucks" but wear it anyway, listen to music I can't stand, or tell people I don't like that they're the greatest. I tell my good friends that I hate their favorite song, their clothes look ridiculous, and I think their friends Whatever and Whoever are jerkoffs. We're friends because I respect them anyway, we have a good time together, and we're there for each other if we need it. I don't change my face in a new group of people, I'm always the same and I have friendly relations with the majority of people I meet. You don't get shunned for being friendly, you get shunned for being pushy, dishonest, fake, and annoying.
"Been there, done that. I’ve tried laughing it off, people made more fun of me."
People don't stop making fun of me for making fun of them and myself right back. It just always happens. When you find someone that freaks out, they tend to be more fun to make fun of, but some people take it too far.
"Guess that is kinda true, but I wouldn’t mind it if they stopped the talking and went to just the thinking, half the problem would be gone."
If you practiced the cold indifference you claim to have, the entire problem would be gone.
"They don’t care much about them unless they start bothering us. They don’t exactly appreciate the looks, but I was never that comfortable with people, so that might be a part of the problem why I am the one most affected by the staring."
You only know this because you talk about it with them, and you don't talk about it with the people staring. If you are the one talking about it most, it's possible the other people just don't notice it..
"That is a max of 2 days of hair going unwashed at a time, it does not get that greasy"
Yuck lol
"I wasn’t that much interested in what the band members wore. And I don’t remember seeing any chucks in the death/black metal bands I listen to."
The metal heads, especially alternative harder metal, and punk kids are often fans of each others music. The ones who goes to the shows of either in town will likely often go to shows of the other. So you, coincidentally, wore the same shoes as fans of the music. Eerie.
"I’ve been seriously suicidal, but I’ve never attempted suicide. I cut to relieve stress and let out the pain. Some people cry, some people scream, some people become like a constant PMS. I cut. I don’t do it deep enough for it to be dangerous."
Cutting isn't very constructive and not nearly as safe as cutters assume. I recommend checking out this site:
http://www.palace.net/~llama/psych/injury.html
"I prefer to deal with problems on my own. "
Cutting is not dealing with them.
"I have told my parents that I am fine many times, I do not think that they even know about my many depressions, cutting, or the fact that I used to be suicidal, they simply notice that I am often extremely sad for reasons I never disclose."
Well, under the slight possibility you aren't as shockingly uncaring as you present yourself, you can still give your parents an appreciative hug and tell them how while you probably won't outwardly change you are going to be okay and that you value their concern. You may even accidentally experience genuine happiness rather than a stonecold, faked form of contentness.
And for the record, ignoring the people that are concerned about your well-being in order to better present yourself as dark and unfeeling IS also under the realm of superficiality.
"They probably assume that we mosh since many of us are violent."
Again, maybe your jeans and sweatshirts aren't the cause of standoffish stares. You ignore the people that care about you, see yourself as an out of place rebel (a CrazyRebel even), and are apparently well-known for being violent. Do you want people to wink and blow you kisses for this?
"denim does often decrease in price, I often see ones that are half+ cheaper than their original price."
Only specialty denim, like fleece-lined for winter or an occasional spring set that has some silly design on it. Denim stays the same. They don't revamp or tweak it--and even when they very slightly do, they make them in the same washes put the same SKUs on them. It's a pair of jeans, they don't need to worry about evolving trends, they know it will sell, and they make them in bulk.
"Not trying to fake being someone I am not or trying to understand people I honestly don’t care about and that don;t care about me."
If you take the time to try, it won't BE fake. Jesus, haven't you ever seen The Breakfast Club?
"I care about the people around me, as long as they do not bug me. If people I don;t know or don;t feel comfortable with start trying to make me talk what do I have left to do except shut them out."
You are shy and insecure, and play it off as a cold indifference. You don't have to sit down at a table of kids you don't know, you just have to not be a jerk.
"I look different because that is who I am."
Yet also, as you admitted, naturally classified as emo/goth/punk/mosher. The same culture of music and crowds you embrace.
"One gets used to being unnoticed. After years and years of being unnoticed it might be good to be noticed for a while, but after that when it is no longer something new the only thing that is left is the constant feeling of being watched as if you are on a stage and failing miserably at what ever it is you are suppose to be doing."
If you really embrace being yourself, you won't care if girls dye their hair blond and wear FIFTY DOLLAR skirts. This is what they want to do. They find things funny you don't--the most natural thing about us would be our senses of humor. They will also very naturally be surprised about something that is very different. Jeans and shirts are not different, so they're probably just nervous around the violent, rude person. I'd tell you to stop dressing so strangely if you really hated people staring--but what would I tell you to wear? Start wearing some normal clothes like jeans and a t-shirt? When it's cold put on a hooded sweatshirt? I just described 95% of the people outside at this moment.
"I don’t care if they make fun of me, all the stuff they can come up with is either stupid or stuff that I consider a complement."
You just said that if they stopped making fun of you, half the problem would be gone.
"You can relate to the people with real problems, but when the problems stop being the ones of survival and physical comfort, and start being in the life of an average kid with a messed up head you can’t really do much to help."
If you never try you can't say that. What do you think counselors are a conspiracy? Or do you think you're the first teenager to think the world sucked and that you're the first person in the world FINALLY have all the answers even though you're still miserable Every kid is miserable, every kid thinks they have all the answers. They can drown themselves in misery, or they can make steps to change. Do what you like. -
”Did that come out right? If not, it sounds like much of this would be in your head.”
Not sure if it came out right, but I agree that most of my problems are in my head.
”The hair's not that crazy, even for guys these days. The make-up COULD be somewhat eye catching, especially since red is a color your eyes will gravitate towards. And if by LOTS you mean the eye liner extends to your ears, that could be doing it.”
Not to my ears, just a lot around my eyes.
”Are you a guy or a girl?? Lol”
Girl
”The studded belt and possibility of a band on the shirt may make me think so. Aside from that, it's a standard outfit. And even with that, it's a standard outfit only now shows you like this type of music. Nothing outrageous is happening.”
How the hell should I know why people stare? They just do.
”Well I hope you weren't confused then.”
It depends on what you mean by confused.
”What do they say? "Stop wearing jeans and sweatshirts!"?”
No, they tell me to clean up, by which they mean nothing torn, nothing studded, nothing dark, and nothing that anyhow resembles what I usually look like.
”Well, I guess I'll NEVER be anti-stylish! When will the in-crowd embrace damp shoes falling to pieces so I can be in comfort and convenience without being a conformist!”
The thing I hate the most about nowadays is the fact that now wearing stuff that is “anti-stylish” is becoming stylish. I wear that stuff because I simply don’t feel comfortable in clean, new shoes and neat clothing, while the most of today’s in-crowd is wearing it simply because it is “in”. In a few years, chances are I will still be wearing the same thing, and most of today’s crowds will be wearing following fad.
”You just won't say where. The "random" stores have brand names. Unless they "fell off the back of the truck" the brand names don't sell lower than the price the brand demands.”
I have said it, Marshals (though I haven’t been there in a while, it might have changed),
Ross.
”The facade of having a really tough heart for shock value is just making me bored.”
If you are bored, why are you still replying?
”So then what are they looking at?”
As I have already said, I do not know.
”Were you FAKING the helpful, friendliness? “
“No, back then I actually was nice, now I can be nice without looking fake only to some people. I did fake being like them though.
”I don't TRY to fit in with people to get them to be my friends. I don't look in the mirror and go "Yuck, this outfit sucks" but wear it anyway, listen to music I can't stand, or tell people I don't like that they're the greatest.”
I tried being fake once, I gave it up. Being the person I am, I just can’t be friends with the popular crowd. I have a few friends that are preps/jocks. But only 3-4, none of them girls. I do listen to only music I like and wear things I like, I don’t tell people anything unless I mean it.
“I tell my good friends that I hate their favorite song, their clothes look ridiculous, and I think their friends Whatever and Whoever are jerkoffs. We're friends because I respect them anyway, we have a good time together, and we're there for each other if we need it. I don't change my face in a new group of people, I'm always the same and I have friendly relations with the majority of people I meet. You don't get shunned for being friendly, you get shunned for being pushy, dishonest, fake, and annoying.”
Most people I have met, especially girls, don’t like me for who I am. I am slightly mean, slightly perverted, sometimes violent, and just plain weird. I would never change what I look like or how I act for people. My friends, as well as me, all dress somehow differently and listen to different types of music, though we can all somehow fit under rock.
”If you practiced the cold indifference you claim to have, the entire problem would be gone.”
I don’t care about many things, but the things I do care about, I care about a lot.
”You only know this because you talk about it with them, and you don't talk about it with the people staring. If you are the one talking about it most, it's possible the other people just don't notice it..”
We don’t talk much about is, just random comments about the people staring, the preps acting stupid at the lunch table next to us, or someone annoying calling us cutters and telling us to show our wrists, even though only two of us that I know of cut, and no one knows that I do. I don’t talk about it (the staring, stupid people) much. I’ve only mentioned it once or twice. I believe this is the first time I mentioned it on the internet as well.
”Yuck lol”
And I am called the weird one… interesting.
”The metal heads, especially alternative harder metal, and punk kids are often fans of each others music. The ones who goes to the shows of either in town will likely often go to shows of the other. So you, coincidentally, wore the same shoes as fans of the music. Eerie.”
They are comfortable and cheap, I can’t be the only one that has noticed it.
”Cutting isn't very constructive and not nearly as safe as cutters assume. I recommend checking out this site:
http://www.palace.net/~llama/psych/injury.html”
It helps me to relieve emotional pain. I’ve never had the same outlook on pain as most people. At first I simply didn’t care about it, later I started liking it, It helped me get through being very suicidal, it is possible that if I have not done that I would not be alive now.
”Cutting is not dealing with them.”
Some problems it is impossible to deal with, or at least I can not right now, because of them I cut. I do my best to resolve the problems I can, like the one about caring what people think of me, which I have almost overcame.
”Well, under the slight possibility you aren't as shockingly uncaring as you present yourself, you can still give your parents an appreciative hug and tell them how while you probably won't outwardly change you are going to be okay and that you value their concern. You may even accidentally experience genuine happiness rather than a stonecold, faked form of contentness.”
I have told them that many times. And while we are on the topic of thanking, I guess I have you to thank since I don’t care that much about people staring at me anymore, I am pretty sure that this discussion helped a lot. So thanks.
And for the record, ignoring the people that are concerned about your well-being in order to better present yourself as dark and unfeeling IS also under the realm of superficiality.
I do not present myself as dark or unfeeling. I do wear dark colors and I do not care a lot, it doesn’t mean that I don’t feel or show emotion, it means I do not care about people’s opinion of me.
”Again, maybe your jeans and sweatshirts aren't the cause of standoffish stares. You ignore the people that care about you, see yourself as an out of place rebel (a CrazyRebel even), and are apparently well-known for being violent. Do you want people to wink and blow you kisses for this?”
No, I prefer the stares to the kisses, thanks. I am a rebel, though maybe not entirely out of place since I can have a conversation with almost anyone that is not very judgmental. I do things because I want to not because I was told to. I am an anarchist. I often do things for the simple reason that people tell me I can not or should not do it. I am very different from the majority and a lot of people do call me crazy and weird.
“Your blank responses leave me baffled on what to say next!! I bet this is a wonderfully natural debating tactic that people just don't know WHAT to say in response! You should laugh about this and brag to your friends.”
But you did come up with something to say to that. Besides your responses are not always that easy to reply to as well. And how would you expect me to reply to “OOOO you ARE dark!!” I could go of on a rant about how “I don’t care” has nothing to do with being dark, at least in the way I meant it, but I was too tired to do so, I wrote this at about 2 am after pulling an all-nighter the day before, my mind was and is not in its best working order.
”If you take the time to try, it won't BE fake. Jesus, haven't you ever seen The Breakfast Club?”
No I haven’t.
”You are shy and insecure, and play it off as a cold indifference. You don't have to sit down at a table of kids you don't know, you just have to not be a jerk.”
I am not really shy or insecure. I am a bit quiet but that is simply the way I am. The only thing I am insecure about is when I am not sure that the people I care about care about me. And cold indifference and a simple not caring attitude are different. I am not a jerk, but I refuse to waste my time on people who I don’t want to be around. Even when I have my “nice days” I just can’t speak to the majority of people without getting bored.
”Yet also, as you admitted, naturally classified as emo/goth/punk/mosher. The same culture of music and crowds you embrace.”
I am classified as that by people who don’t know. Punk and emo are very different and I can’t really be both, yet I am called both. I have characteristics from almost every subculture. Mosher is pretty much a way to name the group of people that have too many differences to be classify them into some smaller category and that, for the most part, fit the description I gave some time ago.
“If you really embrace being yourself, you won't care if girls dye their hair blond and wear FIFTY DOLLAR skirts. This is what they want to do. They find things funny you don't--the most natural thing about us would be our senses of humor. They will also very naturally be surprised about something that is very different. Jeans and shirts are not different, so they're probably just nervous around the violent, rude person. I'd tell you to stop dressing so strangely if you really hated people staring--but what would I tell you to wear? Start wearing some normal clothes like jeans and a t-shirt? When it's cold put on a hooded sweatshirt? I just described 95% of the people outside at this moment.”
I could stick to the jeans, t-shirt, and hoddie and look like a complete prep. It is as much the way you wear your clothes as what you wear that get you labeled. It is the colors, condition, and size among many other things that make people stand out.
”You just said that if they stopped making fun of you, half the problem would be gone.”
What they actually say doesn’t matter, but the fact that they bother me at the time when I could be doing something else that I don’t like and the fact that they spread rumors that people for some reason believe.
”If you never try you can't say that. What do you think counselors are a conspiracy? Or do you think you're the first teenager to think the world sucked and that you're the first person in the world FINALLY have all the answers even though you're still miserable Every kid is miserable, every kid thinks they have all the answers. They can drown themselves in misery, or they can make steps to change. Do what you like.”
Counselors wouldn’t work for me because I don’t feel comfortable letting on to every problem I have, especially since the biggest problems are too personal for me to share with anyone. I do not think I have all the answers, I do not “drown in misery”. I USED to be depressed. I still cut sometimes and that keeps me out of depression. Maybe you got the impression of me being a completely sad, depressed, unstable person because the only thing I really talked about is emo people in general and the sadder, darker side of me. I am not drowning in self pity or misery. I have many interests, and even though I am often mean it is only to people I do not care about or I know will not mind. The fact that I do not care does not make me cold and distant, I care about some things, and I defiantly care about my friends and usually my family. I do not care about what people think of me.
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"Not sure if it came out right, but I agree that most of my problems are in my head."
Well, no offense (again lol), while it might be normal to dislike the people staring and saying things--what you say here means a certain degree of the problem is yours to fix.
"Not to my ears, just a lot around my eyes."
I dunno then. It is somewhat unconventional, but a fair amount of people do wear excessive eye-makeup. I normally don't like girls that wear a lot of makeup, yet eye-shadow is never an issue to me really.
"How the hell should I know why people stare? They just do"
Well, just to point it out again, if you are dressing under the range of shocking, not many people should be staring--it could be an internal thing. Unless you live in a Mormon village, it's unlikely a fair majority of the school has a predisposition against any clothing that could be related to slightly less popular music.
"It depends on what you mean by confused."
Well, if people gave curious glances during that time.
"No, they tell me to clean up, by which they mean nothing torn, nothing studded, nothing dark, and nothing that anyhow resembles what I usually look like."
Well, if they're doing it for no reason they're just being super-traditional, over-protective parents. If you're going somewhere "nice" it's perfectly reasonable, in my opinion.
"The thing I hate the most about nowadays is the fact that now wearing stuff that is “anti-stylish” is becoming stylish. I wear that stuff because I simply don’t feel comfortable in clean, new shoes and neat clothing, while the most of today’s in-crowd is wearing it simply because it is “in”. In a few years, chances are I will still be wearing the same thing, and most of today’s crowds will be wearing following fad."
No offense (I bet you didn't see that coming), there's a decent chance your look will gradually "tone down" in whatever aspects they can overtime. And in the chance that your style becomes the in-thing, you will despise it lol
I also don't feel comfortable in clean, new shoes. I like them to feel broken in, and a part of me enjoys when they get muddy as--in my mind--it shows subtle signal that I'm a fairly sloppy person underneath it all, and I love running through the park anyway (or used to it seems!).
"I have said it, Marshals (though I haven’t been there in a while, it might have changed),
Ross."
There haven't been many Marshals around me in years, and I don't think I've ever even been in a Ross. Though I was under the impression both were basically like Target and Walmart, which have decent deals on clothes--but only clothes of possibly-decent quality. All the real-brand stuff was regular priced.
"If you are bored, why are you still replying?"
Because I'm not bored with the other aspects of the conversation, and I was hoping those types of comments would lower. Everyone knows that divorce is something that is very capable of bothering someone quite a bit--even if they don't drastically change outwardly.
"I just can’t be friends with the popular crowd. I have a few friends that are preps/jocks. But only 3-4, none of them girls. I do listen to only music I like and wear things I like, I don’t tell people anything unless I mean it."
Well what's so different about those 3-4? Aside from they fact they probably don't say rude things to you, what makes them likable outside of other jocks and preps? Do they not listen to despicable pop and hip-hop, or do you not care that they listen to it?
I don't mean to sound condescending, but you'd be surprised how differently perceptions like this change after high school. I never really payed attention to the "cliques" in high school, but I guess they somewhat existed. But outside of school and in college all the lines are completely blurred and most everyone couldn't really care less about music or clothing styles. Some "punk" kids will still typically chill with other punks, just as stoners will typically chill with the stoners (more people seem to smoke as well. It's a really uniter of people! lol), but for the most part--especially as time goes on--no one really cares. Jerks and weirdos get ignored, which has nothing to do with hairstyles and everything to do with how they act.
"Most people I have met, especially girls, don’t like me for who I am. "
Well, I will admit that some high school girls are just awfully catty for seemingly no go reason. They're probably just really insecure or something, but I always just ignored them unless one of my friends was dating them--and when they were separated from "the pack" they usually acted much more laid back and chill. Though obviously some were just bitchy.
"I am slightly mean, slightly perverted, sometimes violent, and just plain weird. I would never change what I look like or how I act for people."
Why wouldn't you want to want to change being mean and violent? Not to sound new agey, but it's just bad for the soul. Personally, I found life to get tremendously better by taking
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Oral Fixation
January 4, 2007
You just called yourself emo.
You just catagorized. You jerk! lmaoGrow Your Wings Bck
October 6, 2007
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WaltzMoore
December 25, 2007
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April 29
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YOU PEOPLE DONT KNOW SHIT
really if you knew what you were daying you wouldnt be on the emos case! And BTW being emo isn't all about being depressed. Some of us are actually happy! ISN'T HAPPINESS AN EMOTION??? hmm..guess your'll didnt think of that. SO before you go round labeling emos maybe you should take a look at yourself! AND maybe YOU people who are calling us hypcrites are the HYPOCRITES yourselves. Takes one to know one, doesn't it?Please register or login to comment! It's totally free